Oh CHEMO brain...

Chemo Brain has become my latest residual effect that I am frustrated by.  I guess I could cut myself some slack since our family schedule is growing increasingly more and more busy BUT I hate when I make a mistake with our schedule... and I did that today in a huge way!

I double booked us with our bowling Christmas gathering and one of our family Christmas gatherings.  Each would be so hard to miss and we wanted to be at both.  I agreed to the family gathering whole heartedly without even thinking that it would be on the same day as our bowling league.  Keith is the VP of the league so this is one year we cannot skip out on a third Saturday of the month.  The family, of course, came through and have helped us change to the Sunday for the family Christmas celebration!  They are the best!  We love our Klunder Christmas and would be so sad to not be with everyone!

I have also doubled up on one of my appointments for Herceptin and leaving for the Blackhawks game Friday.  This should work out fine as long as we get everything to work out on time... OH yeah!  We were blessed with 4 tickets to the Blackhawks game this Friday night.  Cousin Tim gave us tickets again and we could not be more excited!!  We are also so excited because we are able to take our dear friends, Wendi and Ken who have kept the girls throughout chemo and all other treatments!  They are excited to go and we are so happy to be able to do something to thank them for all they have done for us!  

Really if I look at all that I have been able to do these past months and all I am taking on in life it is amazing!  I am so proud of how strong I have become and how much I have come to appreciate all I am able to do.  I still have the moments that I am frustrated with my inability to do something or lack of energy to finish something.  BUT overall I am so glad I am able to do all that I do now.

If this doesn't make you believe....

AMAZING is all I have to say about these past couple of days!

I have been blessed to have a chance to have breakfast with my husband - alone- which rarely ever happens.  We enjoyed our time having a nice conversation while eating delicious food I did not have to cook.  We of course followed that up with a trip to Costco to stock up for all the weeks feasts.

Keith, Lindsey, Sarah and I went to Chicago on the train on Wednesday to finally celebrate their birthday at the American Girl Store.  It was a magical experience for us all and we came home with two new additions to our family (who are quiet).  We experienced 2 cab rides with the girls and one of our favorite memories is when the girls saw the Marilyn Monroe HUGE statue in front of the NBC5 building.  They were blown away that there could be a lady that big.

Thanksgiving day was full of family activities.  We saw my parents and Brad for an early meal.  It was so nice to be able to celebrate together all the wonderful things we were thankful for.... health, happiness and a wonderful future to come.  The late afternoon and evening were spent at Keith's parents' house where we enjoyed our time with them and his aunt and uncle.  The girls played with all the toys over there and the grownups caught up on the happenings in life.  We ate delicious food and had a nice time all day long!  That evening the twins stayed at mom and dad's so Keith, Katelynn and I could venture out together on the madness of Black Friday... or Crazy Thursday as Katelynn now refers to it.  To sum up the night and morning.... Katelynn made it to Target only and we put her to bed at mom's after that store because she was exhausted.  Then a few hours later Keith and I were off on our adventure to complete our shopping WHICH I can brag I am about 90% done with my shopping.

........To get to the real reason for me writing.

CIRCLE OF LIFE does exist and I was given the gift of seeing it today!
I was visited by a person who I have known for many years, Vicky.  She owns the salon I got my hair done for my wedding and where my family has gone for years to get our hair done.  (Not to mention that our moms are good friends.)
It was a surprise to see her at our house today since I have not been into the salon in a long time and we generally see each other only there.  As I realize who it is and we are greeting each other I invite her into the house.  She says she wanted to drop something off for me and we chat for a little bit catching up.  After a little bit she begins to tell me why she is here.........

In October she did a fundraiser at the salon to raise money for a family touched by cancer.  She was telling a friend that she needed to find a deserving family.  This friend contacted someone she had recently met who might know of just the right family and when Vicky's friend e-mailed the information it was my name that was in the e-mail.  She said it was as if God had spoken at that moment.  She knew we were the family she wanted the money to go to.  Her generosity was so overwhelming and then to hear the way in which this financial help came to me was heaven sent!  The person who gave my name was my dear friend, Beth.  She had told me a woman she knew was looking for a family to do a fundraiser for and she made sure it was OK to give my info.  I agreed and then all the pieces fell into place.  Even as I write this I am in awe of how all of this happened.  The money comes at a time in which money has been weighing heavily on my mind so it will help to lessen my fears.  The amount was wonderful and the sentiment is truly priceless!!  One other connection to all of this is that the LHS cheerleading squad all came do the fundraiser and were very interested to know who the family was that received the proceeds.  Vicky asked me if she could let the coach know and I said YES!!  She then tells me who the coach is and as the circle continues the coach is an older sister of a former student of mine from my 2nd year of teaching at Oak Grove.  She part of a generous and wonderful family so I am not surprised to hear she is part of this blessing!  It also means that there is a possibility that I taught one of the girls on the squad.  Every aspect of my life came into this blessing and I am so thankful for it all!!  What a perfect addition to my new favorite holiday... our day (or long weekend) of THANKS! 

I am so thankful for all of the support I am given!  Whether it be a hug, a smile, encouragement, donation, or a prayer, I am so thankful to all who have helped us along this journey!!  You are all part of my CIRCLE of LIFE!

Life has come full circle...

What a day!!  and it is only 10:30 in the morning and I have had a full day of momentous activities!!

I woke up with a twin in my bed who had come in complaining of not being able to sleep.  Of course when the alarm went off I had to crawl over her to turn it off (.. or hit sleep timer 3 times) but she did not wake up for those times.  SO I am not sure how she could not sleep in her own bed but there must be magic in my bed.  :)

After that lovely broken up sleep, I went and got ready for an early doctors appointment.  It was very much like those 25 days of radiation... the same time of morning and they are both located up north so I drove the same way as well.  Keith made it home in time to let me leave on time.  He took over the morning chores and got the girls off to school while I drove up to Gurnee.  As I drove I was thinking about how different a year looks in my life!!

It was a year ago I was in Lake Forest at my annual OB-Gyne appointment complaining about a pain in my armpit knowing that it may not be an area Dr. Huang deals with but she could point me to the correct doctor to check it.  As she did her breast exam she also found that small lump she wanted to have checked out and really expected it to be a baseline mammogram since I was really still young for this test.... FAST FORWARD........ here I drive with my lovely new "water balloons" that are so much smaller than the ones we got rid of.  I am finished with all the original cancer treatments and am living life to the fullest each day!

It was such a wonderful feeling to see Dr. Huang and be able to thank her in person!  She was just as excited to see me as I was to see her!  She gave me a huge hug and was all smiles when she saw that I was still the same Lynn.  She was so good about answering all of my questions about my new body and my side-effects from the meds.  She was the first angel on my journey and I am one of the most blessed women in this world to have such a top notch group of physicians and Dr. Huang is the one who recommended all the oncology team.  I was in tears when I was leaving because it was such an overwhelming moment in my life as I was saying goodbye to the Lynn who was there last year and am embracing the new Lynn of this year. 

As I was in the room waiting I picked up a magazine in which I read about how rituals can help you heal.... I realized that this blog and all of you supporting me has been a ritual for me.  I find so much peace as I write down all that is going on during this journey and I can feel all your positive support of me.  These two things combined have been a huge part of my healing!!  Thank you to all of you for all you do for me!  You are all amazing and mean so much to me!

Happy Anniversary!

One year ago today I was sitting in the surgeons office being told that I had breast cancer....

Now I am here cancer free and loving life!  It is so amazing to me that I can feel those feelings all over again but now I can rejoice because I know the outcome of all the treatments!  I love life and find the miracle of each day!

I am still sick with the virus I have been fighting for the past 17 days.  I finally got to the doctor and Dr. Chung decided to give me a bunch of meds that will help with all the symptoms and get rid of all this pain.  I am so thankful I have such a great doctor and I am praying for a night sleep without coughing or choking!

Thank you to all of you for following my story and for supporting me this entire year!  I could not be as strong as I am without each and every one of you!

This cough and cold is kicking my butt!!!

I asked Keith today:  How come this cough is worse than having cancer?????

I have been dealing with a horrible cough and cold since last Tuesday.  I have lost my voice and am still sounding like a frog.  I have also been coughing uncontrollably these past three days.  I was able to have my treatment on Friday since I have not had a fever throughout the whole time.  I am choking when I cough which is now the most annoying and painful symptom left.   

I have also kept going through the last week... I was able to get to most of the events and activities with a few exceptions.  Of course that could be why I am still sick!  I guess I am still learning to stop overdoing it but I really cannot stop living and I am trying to keep life normal for the girls.

It is the twins 6th birthday!!!  My babies are 6!!!  I am so amazed at looking back over the years from the first time the ultrasound technician told us there was a chance we were having twins!!!  I will be coming full circle in a few weeks... I will be going for my annual gyne appointment on November 21st.  This is the office in which I have been told I am pregnant, I have miscarried and I have a lump.  These are all ups and downs of my life but when I walk in the door this time I am a more well rounded woman who is so thankful for all that I have been given in this life!  I am so grateful to my doctor for helping me get through all the major events in my life.  She was such a fantastic guide on this cancer journey as she recommended all the medical staff that are on my team.  This will be one more milestone on this journey!

I am off to do homework and the nightly routine and then to put myself to bed to hope I can sleep this cold away!!!