Reminders

I wanted to share a sweet story from today so that I would not forget it!

I have been dealing with a horrible cough for the past 5 days and I have gotten little sleep so that sets the stage for how I was feeling.  As I was feeling sorry for myself that I was so sick and I was having to go in for the Herceptin treatment tomorrow something so wonderful happened.... I decided to go onto Facebook which was something I have not given a lot of time lately.  I went around commenting on others status updates and smiling when seeing all the good going on in everyone's life.  I decided to update my status so I wrote exactly what I hoped everyone would pray for me... my veins to work tomorrow during treatment and the ability to get through it all even though I was so anxious.  Do you know what happened???  Those prayers were answered in the form of many awesome women in my life sending me the most uplifting messages and prayers!  I am tearing up again just as I did the first time I read all the comments!  This is when I really do know that God gives us angels here on Earth and I happen to blessed with so many!  If only everyone would live life in a positive way I really do believe this world would be a better place.... one of those crazy thoughts I have had during all the couch time I have had is.... wouldn't this world be different if it were run by a cancer survivor!  Compassion and caring would be first and foremost instead of set on the back burner. 

I am so thankful for all the friends who support me and help lift me up with prayer through these hard times! 

Herceptin treatment is this Friday.  I am praying my veins work well and all can be done in a short amount of time.  

I am doing physical therapy which started out to help the foot I hurt when I had neropothy during chemo.  The foot is increasingly better and now we are working on getting my stomach muscles ready for the reconstruction surgery in June.  We also have Sarah going to PT to help with her trouble walking and running.  She is a great patient who is so excited to go each week!  Maybe in a few months mother and daughter will have more of their muscles working correctly!

I am struggling with my allergies and am now thinking I am also dealing with asthma symptoms.  The cough chokes me and makes me feel like my lungs are flattening as I cough.  I am starting the inhaler tonight and have the nebulizer ready to go if needed!  ... thank goodness I learned so much about lungs from Lindsey when she was a baby.  

A weekend of having to rest will be a welcome change for me!

WHY???

I am having a good week!  It is always tough to come back after an eventful Easter weekend but I was doing well!  Work has ramped up and I am finishing off this year as well as getting ready for the move to 6th grade math for next year.  I went to a workshop on Tuesday and was still doing well... until I returned on Wednesday and found out something I would not have imagined!

My dear friend, Yvonne, who was a huge help in getting me through last year since she is a survivor, told me that she found out she had cancer in her lungs.  This was her former breast cancer that was able to lay dormant for the past 13 years and is now showing its "teeth."  This threw me for a curve ball since she was such strength for me.  BUT it also threw me into helping mode!  I am going to be her rock and help her all I can!  I know that cancer is inevitable but it is so hard to hear those I love have to deal with a new battle!  Please pray these treatments will work to rid her of this horrible thing!

I am doing well!  I have been to the foot doctor again and am progressing well in PT to improve the function of my right foot and my hips that seem to be the reason I am having many of my pains. 

I am hoping to have two good weeks before I have the next round of Herceptin.

Blessed week and weekend

This week has been one of many blessings and even some small, personal miracles!  

The MUGA scan is my small miracle for the week!  I went in on Thursday morning to Grayslake Lake Forest Hospital building extremely anxious but determined to get through this test ... as I joked with Dr. Chung on Friday, I finally took a Big Girl pill and just did this test!  I had, of course, prayed over and over for the test to go well and the technician I wanted to be there!  I got to the Radiation department and was greeted wit the news that John would be my technician and I wanted to hug the girl!  I thanked her and told her she just made my day because I was hoping it would be John!  When John came to get me from the waiting room I could tell he recognized me and I let him know I was so relieved he would be doing the test!  He was surprised at my last experience and took GREAT care of me!!!  The IV went into to my hand and worked well!  The test took about two hours from start to finish but it went so smoothly I would have been fine to be there all day!  

Friday was a different story!  I had spent much of Thursday night decluttering for the cleaning ladies... so I got only a little sleep.  Everyone was home while the ladies came and cleaned so I had to keep them all in their rooms.  The house looked so WONDERFUL!!! I just love the sight of a newly cleaned house in which I did not have to do all the cleaning!  We spent the rest of the morning eating breakfast and getting ready for the rest of the day... the girls were heading over to Kim's house as they usually do on treatment days lately.  They could not wait to get there and play with their friends and eat "junk food" with Ms. Kim!  I got ready for treatment by making sure I drank as much as I could stand to have hydrated veins (Like that would even help my little veins!) and I made sure I had my Nook charged to keep me distracted during the quiet time of treatment....

The girls excitedly went to Kim's while Keith and I went to Libertyville!

My IV did not cooperate two days in a row.... It took two tries and the final one went into my wrist,,, WOW was that painful from the first poke until the day after treatment.  I did find it so ironic that on Good Friday I would end up with having to have an IV in my wrist and feel the tiniest bit of what Jesus felt on the cross.  I also had a very moving experience at chemo... Dave is a patient who is a fun character!  He is a five year survivor of cancer that is inoperable and pretty much unstoppable, He is a fun, older guy who has a great sense of humor and enjoys talking to anyone who will strike up a conversation!  I really do believe that if you want to learn about the meaning of life all you need to do is visit a chemo room and talk to the patients who are at a point where they want to talk.  Life looks differently to those who have learned a great lesson from this ugliness!  Dave is past the time they thought he had to live and I can tell he is seeing the inevitable is coming.  He is not giving up but he is taking charge of life.  He is getting everything in order to live life his way for the last bit ... whatever it ends up being!  Our talk was a great one!  He loves car racing so he and Keith talked about all kinds of cars and races.  He and I talked about my treatment and how I was doing and how teaching was going.  He has no children and his family is all in St. Louis so I know that going home is lonely.  He is a talker and I was so happy we had our chance to talk with him!  I gave him a big hug before he left!  Once he did head out I was filled with sadness.  I talked with nurse Katie about how I did not know how she did it!  

We did meet with Dr. Chung during this afternoon and had one of the most uneventful appointments.  Although I do know I have made an impression on her: for one I laughed when she told me she got my MUGA report back on Thursday afternoon and it made her laugh as she noticed I waited until the absolute last moment to get it done as well as knowing that I detest this test but I did it!  The other reason is during the end of the appointment we were talking about how much she appreciates my willingness to help other patients who are in my same situation (young and/or moms of young kids).  She was passing on my info to a couple of others.  I am so blessed to have such a caring doctor!  I also so blessed to have the opportunity to know what it is to have a cure!

I went home from treatment with the worst headache and more nausea than I ever remember before with this drug  I went to bed and did not really get up until 11am on Saturday.  I missed out on a great deal but was so blessed to have the last half of the weekend to enjoy the Easter Celebrations. 

Tests and treatments this week

This week is a full one for me.  I am transitioning back into work after a week off for Spring break and the girls are trying to get back to waking up early for school which is a slow go in our house.  We all enjoyed our vacation but now it is reality!

I have a MUGA scan on Thursday morning... as you may know this is my LEAST favorite test I have to do every 4 months (Or whenever I get the courage to make the appointment). 

I have Herceptin treatment on Friday.

It is a full weekend with all the Easter events and I am hoping to feel OK so that I can enjoy all that the kids will be enjoying!  We shall see!!

Life is changing greatly in my world starting next school year!  I am so excited to say that I am going back to my first love... Junior High math!  I am so looking forward to being full time and I am joining a fabulous team!  I so look forward to all that is to come... BUT first I am finding myself taking more time to enjoy each of things I am doing this year as a last time of doing them.  I have loved the last 8 years of teaching math to K-2 students.  I am so passionate about making math fun for all I have been able to make a difference in all the students I am able to see each year. Now I will be able to influence the entire class each year in 6th grade.... As I think forward to next year I am going to be walking into the building with a new body and a new position. 

The new body I am talking about will be complete after I recover from my reconstruction surgery on June 15th.  My tissue expanders will be removed and the surgeons will use the tissue from my stomach to re-create new breasts and then flatten out my stomach as it is sewn back up.  OH have I found the silver lining to this thing that started as my worst nightmare! 

I have been given so many signs of being on the right path by having twins follow me through each part of this journey... Lauren, Jen and Kate at the oncology office are either a twin or have twins, Dr. Posner(radiation oncologist) has twins, and more...
Now we have joined a new church which has been wonderful for us all!  I was keeping my cancer quiet because I did not want to be defined by it in a new place.  But there was one Sunday in Adult Sunday School that I was compelled to share my story only to find out that a woman I had connected with was diagnosed with early stage breast cancer just that Friday.  I have been able to help her and encourage her over this past month as she has had beginning treatments.  I have since connected with a couple survivors in the church and we have now been joined by a newly diagnosed woman.  I do not wish to increase the number of woman who have this same diagnosis but if it must happen I am happy to make it my ministry to help others know that they too will get through the different phases of treatments.  Just knowing I might give others comfort in a time that is so unknown and uncertain gives me such peace!

Love is the best way to go!