Oh What a Day!!!

I was going along with my new routine of waking up VERY early, getting ready, and getting to work so I can get my day off to the right start.  I even had a team meeting and made it through that fine.  My students came in and I began my day.....

Then as we were putting the homework up on the board to discuss the answers I began to have a hot flash (A wave of heat came up me and I began to sweat horribly) and then I began to have a TERRIBLE pain in my lower abdomen to the point I wanted to curl up in the fetal position.  I hurt when sitting and standing.  Luckily I have another teacher in the room with me so I asked her to take over (Thank you Katie!!!) and I went up to the nurses office (YES, teachers can use the nurses office as well... Katelynn was amazed!).  I must have looked awful because the office ladies scrambled to call the nurse and get her back to this end of the building.  She checked all my vitals which were rather normal.  We talked about all possibilities.  We discussed which doctor I should go to ....There is a problem when you have so many you are dealing with and it really overlaps a few of them.  I am hoping to have an appointment with Dr. Jason so we can talk about this issue. 

My mom came to get me and we decided to go to my Oncology Physical therapist since I was already supposed to see her later on today.  Robin was so helpful!  She was able to see me right away and as she pushed on my abdomen she felt it was a possible hernia.  I also confessed that I had been overdoing for about 5 days with lifting and just plain moving around.  I got the pep talk that I need to remember I am still healing from the surgeries and it may take a year to get back to "Normal." 

I will be going to see all the doctors in the upcoming weeks to make sure I cover all my bases.  I do feel better now that I have taken 2 cat naps today and stayed off my feet as long as I was able to. 

I had so many angels on my side today and I cannot thank them enough for helping me!  I am so blessed!  I hated leaving the kids and just throwing together a plan for them but I knew I would be useless to them if I stayed.  I will take it easy and ask for more help now since I do not want this to repeat!!!

Life now...

I think back to November of 2010 and am in awe of how life has changed for mostly the GOOD!!!

I have finished with all my chemo treatments and are now finding out what life is like NOT going to the Oncology office every three weeks... although it has not hit me quite yet.

I am healing and getting stronger each day from all the surgeries this summer.  The reconstruction was rocky but I am seeing how worth while it is now!  I am still not able to lift a great deal or do any hard, heavy moving of things.  BUT my energy is increasing each day and I am finding my way through the adjustment of working full time.  It has been exhausting and exhilarating to be back teaching Junior High Math again!  It has been 10 years since the last time I was teaching 7th grade and I am finding it to be like riding a bike.  I am a little wobbly on the specific changes in procedures but for the most part it is all so familiar!  The students are amazing and the parents have been wonderful so far.  I love my team and we have really bonded well which can only make the year better!

Living "Caner Free" has been amazing!  I am able to keep living and enjoy every moment of it!  The lessons have been learned and I will not go back to the life in which I let things pass me by.

It is the night before....

Herceptin- THE LAST ONE!!!!

Staples are removed from last weeks wounds clean up surgery.

The last drain comes out!!!!

I am home alone enjoying a quiet night to prepare for a BIG day tomorrow!  I will be in Libertyville and Skokie between the morning and early afternoon.  I will see both Dr. Chung and Dr. Lu which will be great!

Today was a GREAT day for the girls and I!!!  We had a shopping day together and were out from 9 AM to 1:44 PM.  I was so proud of myself that I was able to have a "normal" outing with the girls even though the staples are pretty painful at the moment!  I have a great deal of skin pulling and maybe even a little pocket of fluid that needs to be pulled out.  We went to two separate and the Mall as well as Tsukasa for lunch.  The chef was one of the best we have had there... he worked well with both the four engineers out to lunch as well as the three girls and myself.  We all laughed and had a fantastic time with wonderful memories!

I am seeing that life will become normal again!  I do see that my energy level will return in time and it is feeling so good to look forward to ALL the new adventures to come in the next few weeks!  School is going to be fun for all this year!

Wound surgery over

Surgery was on Wednesday afternoon at Lake Forest Hospital.  I had an angel for a nurse who found a vein on the first try.  It was a small one in my hand but it worked for the time it needed to work.  The nurses and doctors were all wonderful and took good care of me!  

Recovery was a rough time!  I had a reaction to the pain meds and my vitals went all crazy but once I got cooled down and it went through my system I was much better.  I was one of those patients that had multiple nurses come around me to help figure out how to get my vitals back to normal... no coding but worried faces at times.  Although to me it was like the worst hot flash I have ever had!

I was so glad when they let me get out of the bed and into a chair.  They gave me water and crackers... I was even happier to be in the car and be on my way home!!!

Mom had the girls for us over night so Nurse Keith only had to deal with the drugged up Lynn who needed help getting the recliner down at all hours of the night/ morning.  My home health care nurse, Angie called and came over to check in with me.  It was so reassuring to have her check the stitches and she was happy to see all Dr. Lu did to close me up... "Oh he used staples too!"  Angie has been so helpful to get through this wound time!  She will be missed once she is done checking in with me next week!

It is Friday and I am feeling better!  There is one part of my stomach that is being pulled and keeping me in pain... But once it calms down and starts to feel more normal I know I will move much easier.  I cannot wait to get off the pain meds so I can get back to driving and be ready to meet the needs of the girls again!  It is hard to be a mom on the sidelines!  

I was able to feel peace throughout this whole ordeal and know that it comes from all the prayers!  Thank you for all your support!

The Day Before Surgery...

Oh it would not b the day before surgery for me without some kind of crisis!!! Storms rolled through and the power went out this morning at 6AM. It is lunchtime and we still do not have power and have no idea when we will get it back.... last summer we were out for over a week and I am not looking forward to losing all the food I have all over again!! Last month when I was getting ready for surgery we had the dishwasher die on us and we replaced it the day before I went into surgery. Life is never boring BUT the way I deal with these things have definitely changed with this journey! I wasted so much of life worrying and being so anxious or even mad about things I have no control over... it only took cancer to learn to roll with all that is thrown my way. I even kind of make it a game of "Let's see how this will end up."

Getting ready for this surgery has been a game of changing the way I approach it... The memory of the previous surgery is one that I am not so fond of right now!! Those 10 hours under anesthesia really took a toll on the WHOLE me! SO now I am trying to think of this one as if I were going in for a root canal rather than a surgery. I cannot tell you how good it will be if this works because I am so tired of having to have these open wounds packed with gauze and then spend the rest of the day trying to keep my clothes dry from all the fluid that comes out... We have become good about making other things help in this area!

The girls are such troopers and I am proud to say that their routine has not been too altered by all these surgeries! They are in Vacation Bible School this week which is helping them not to really think about me going to surgery again! Only one of the twins is having some anxiety about me having another surgery.... She hugs me all the time and tells me she does not want me to have surgery again! She is really why I have come up with the Root canal analogy because she understands the dentist can be a little painful but it is over quickly. This has seemed to reassure her and has even helped me!

I look forward to the day all of this is past me and I can see all I had to go through to be where I will be! Life is a precious thing to me and I love living it everyday! I am just looking for the chance to not worry if I have energy enough for everything!!!

In 12 hours I will be in surgery and hopefully on my way to a FULL recovery!!

This afternoon I answered the phone as it was ringing and was pleasantly surprised to find out that the surgery date was set!  I will be going back into surgery next Wednesday (25th) afternoon to clean out the wounds and re-sew them all back up.  It is coming at a tough time schedule-wise for the kids activities but I know all will go as it should.

I am finding peace with all of this after the exciting day I have had.  I was able to drive to pick up the kids from camp today and even took them to the grocery store to get some fruit and veggies.  The freedom I felt in doing these two rather "normal" things was amazing!  I even made dinner tonight which has not happened in ever a month!  Keith welcomed me back to reality as the kids all complained about how they did not want to eat dinner (spaghetti and meat sauce)... one needed noodles with butter, another needed sauce without meat, and the biggest wasn't sure but tried a little bite before finishing the small helping and asking for more.  Mom is back but I have to take the reins back soon!

Life looks so good and I am excited to be back in the game again!  I know I will gain my strength back before surgery so I can come back from this as quick as possible!

The Roller Coaster is in full gear!

It has been quite a day and we have had so many decisions to make with still some uncertainty!  

Keith and I saw Dr. Lu after dealing with these wounds for 2 weeks at home.  There is some good healing but it will take about 6 more weeks to completely heal this way.  We talked about a wound vac and that would help to decrease the time it will take to heal about a week or two.  But the way that will get me to the end the quickest would be going back for minor surgery so he can clean out the area and re-stitch the area again.  After many questions and a great deal of discussion we came to the decision that surgery is the way we wanted to go.  It looks like I will go in for the surgery next week... now I am at the mercy of the OR schedule.  We will see!

I am feeling more and more human each day!  We are finding ways to help to get around comfortably and I can even begin to drive again which will be so cool!  I have been up all day today with only two times putting my feet up to let my back calm down.  I am finding the light at the end of the tunnel after having a few weeks I never thought it would show up again!  This has been one of the toughest things I have faced and boy did it kick me down!

Who knows what is to come tomorrow but I am enjoying today!