Night before #8...

Spring break is ending for me and treatment #8 will occur within 26 hours.  We have had a great week together as a family!  The girls and I have spent time with so many dear friends and have done some fun things!  We have been to two different "jumping places," bowling, playing with Legos at a new store, shopping, and out to eat a couple of different times.  The girls played well together for the most part during the down times we had so mommy could re-energize.  I was so thankful to have been having a great week for this week off with the girls!  It was wonderful to be with the friends we were blessed to spend quality time with this week!

As I get ready to begin my medicine schedule for the night before chemo I am so glad to know I am near the end of this part of my journey.  It is surreal for me to think back to the night before my first treatment and how anxious and scared I was.  I am amazed at the strength that I have gained from this experience and the calm that I am feeling tonight!

Angels Everywhere!

Today was a special day for me because God sent me so many reminders to stay positive!  I have been struggling with negativity creeping onto my path.  There are people and things that have keep coming at me with such negativity for one reason or another and I have begun to let them effect me.  Keith gave me great advice:  do not let those people or things have the power because you can kick them off the path by ignoring them and not giving them the power.  It is not easy for me but I am working on this!  When I am positive and surrounded by positiveness I feel like I am floating and can conquer anything!!!

On a quick trip to Target today I was approached by a lovely lady who asked me how I was today.  I thought she was just a nice cashier who was doing her job... but I found out that she knew exactly what I was going through because she had been diagnosed with Stage 3 Breast cancer 18 months ago.  The first thing I noticed was that she had beautiful hair that was her own.  At the same time I saw in her eyes that she really did understand!  She shared with me her story as well as encouraged me to keep on fighting and I will be just as strong when I am 18 months out.  She is an angel God sent to be on my path to give me a boost I was so in need of!

Getting together with family and friends this week is so important for me!   I am finding so much strength as I chat with different people and they encourage me on this journey.  This is a week I am using to recharge my batteries and enjoy life!

 

Let's celebrate!!!

I have one more week of feeling good!!!  It is like Christmas for me!!!  I am looking forward to an extra weekend of energy and a week of Spring break to enjoy with the girls!  Oh how freeing it feels!!! 

I am loving this new found time!  I have been able to go to events that recently I could not because I was sick or had no energy.  I am able to catch up with friends who stop by the house.  I look forward to all that I will do with this new found freedom over the next two months!

I was on TV!!!!

What a night Keith and I had!!!  It was a dream come true for Keith and a fantastic experience for me!!!  Having never been to the United Center (or ever remember being there) it was so AWESOME!!!  I love the way I live life these days because I have learned to take everything in to truly enjoy it all!

We left early enough to be able to get there before the doors were even open.  We stood in a large crowd which kept the wind from freezing us and then when the doors opened we gradually made our way into the building.  It was Jonathan Toews bobblehead night so we both got a bobblehead as a souvenir of this night.  As we walked in we both enjoyed the time to walk around and check out all that there was to see and do before the game.  We found the place at which the commentators tape the intermission breaks which came in handy during the 2nd intermission when we went to walk around and found an opening for me to stand along the fan area and get myself on TV!!  :)  There are so many memories we have taken from this night BUT the best gift of all was the chance to have an exciting, fun night to remind us that enjoyment of life is the best medicine for both of us.   And that Cancer has not taken the fun of living away from us!  I also am amazed that I was able to stay awake until midnight last night as we pulled into the driveway and then be up this morning to get the girls from my mom's!  We stayed around the stadium looking at things and enjoying the memories until about 25 minutes after the game was over!  We were kids who did not want to leave the fun or let it end!

It was fantastic to have been at such a great game and have our beloved Blackhawks get a needed victory.  We also enjoyed celebrating with them as Corey Crawford, goalie got his 4th shut out of the season.  This team is such a great group of guys!  We saw so many gifts they gave out to fans and they are so pro-kids.  They make hockey so easy to LOVE! 

This was one gift we were given that will stay a strong memory and be a milestone in this cancer journey because it truly boosted our spirits!!!  We have no way to show our gratitude to our cousins, Tim, Mae and Gina who made this dream for Keith and I come true!  We love you all and thank you!

We are also so thankful to all who give us gifts each day of this journey through your thoughts and prayers and meals and watching our kids and loving us and helping us and just plain caring about us!  We could not do this without ALL of you!  I may be the one physically trying to beat this cancer but I would be nowhere without all of you!

What a great day!

I am celebrating and laughing at myself at the same time!  I was so excited because this morning I was able to get the dishwasher unloaded and reloaded as I fed the kids breakfast.  Then I was able to sort all the laundry in the house before I showered.  These are two things I used to dread and lately has not had enough energy to do both all in one morning.  I almost feel like I have had the handcuffs of this cancer treatment leave my body and I am climbing back up the hill to normalcy!  I am still having issues with some of the side-effects of this chemo but it is NOTHING compared to the combo of the first two chemo drugs I endured for 6 treatments!!!

It is so refreshing to function just a little slower.  I am enjoying the fact that I do not have to miss out of all the things I have had to stay home from in the past.  Life is good!  These are some great days that lie ahead of me!!!

GO BLACKHAWKS!!!!!! 

Having voiced these concerns from the weekend, I am doing so much better!  It gave my mom and I the opportunity to really talk about the differences between my Cousin Erica and myself.  I will still keep her spirit in my thoughts as I battle the war she lost.  Mom reminded me that as I was saying in the last journal entry:  I have the BEST medical team helping me!  That is one of the major differences as well as the fact that we caught my cancer early.  I have felt all your prayers and thoughts of support for me throughout this struggle and I know I am able to be less fearful because of all of you!

It is so fantastic to have this extra week of energy!  I am able to get so much more accomplished compared to the first 6 treatments.  I am learning how to prioritize so that I can get the most done with the amount of energy I am given each day.

We are looking forward to a once in lifetime Keith and I were given for Christmas... tickets to the Blackhawks game on Wednesday night!  Keith is a lifetime fan of the Blackhawks and he is so excited to have been given these fantastic tickets by his cousins!  I am so thankful that I will be having a good week so that I can go with him and enjoy the experience!  We are planning to go early so that we are there when they open up the doors.  He wants to take in all the time he can and see all that he can see.  I am loving the fact that Keith has been able to be excited about something and will have a night full of good memories!  He has had to so so much to keep this family going and has had so much stress since November and now he will get the night off from all that on Wednesday!

I will look forward to sharing with you all the excitement from Wednesday evening!
 

The Question of the Day:
How can a happy day turn into a morning full of fear?
Let's start with the happiness I felt yesterday (ALL DAY!)...  I had a full day of appointments and work which started earlier than I am normal up and functioning.  I had a physical scheduled since before I was diagnosed (It is hard to remember what that time was like).  I decided to keep the appointment with my General doctor because I selfishly wanted to go do a "Normal" activity and I thought it would be good to talk over all that was going on with someone medically who knew me long before the new me.  Dr. Jason has been such a great support to me!  He called me the minute he received the news of my diagnosis and was just as surprised as I was at the time.  He has offered any help I have needed with a variety of needs as a behind the scenes.  My appointment was at 8:30am and I had the energy to get up early and get ready as well as get breakfast for the kids.  As I drove to this appointment I realized how good I was feeling.  I had a good appointment in which we talked about all areas of life and health.  I left the office feeling validated in how surprised we were by this diagnosis and how it is not my fault for having this cancer but it is a cell that got away from the killer cells in my body and divided beyond my bodies ability to get rid of it.  I have been blessed to have such wonderful doctors on my side!!!
After this appointment I had time before work so I went to the DMV to pay for all the cars and trailers to get stickers.  It is so nice to be able to go there and get this errand done in such a short amount of time!  I left there and was able to go to downtown Libertyville to treat myself to a comforting lunch from my favorite Sandwich and soup place that I have loved to go to since high school!  The same family owns it and I love to go in and see all the familiar faces!
Going to work is always a good  thing for me because it means another day that I have energy enough to do what I love!  As I had prep time during the first part of my day, I was able to get so much done!  I had a fantastic lesson with my 2nd graders!  It was the one day I challenge them to work as a whole class to solve a rather large problem.  I had to help throughout the process which tired me out but the success they had was so exciting I forgot to be tired.  After teaching I had an opportunity to talk with a dear friend at work who is such a spiritual inspiration!  It was a bust to my spirit to talk with her!
After work I headed to the Oncology office to do blood work and meet with Dr. Chung.  My Port, of course, acted up and would not let my blood out!  Nurse Maria seems to get the gift of "unclogging" it each time it is at its worst!  She worked her magic with the lovely "drano" and all went back to working order.  It was the first time that the port did not fluster me to tears but rather I realized they will make it work if it is possible.  I let go of blaming myself and allowed it to be what it was just a clog in the system that seems to happen about every 3 to 4 weeks.  It was worth the wait because my numbers came back GREAT for me!!!!  My White blood cells were in the normal range the week after chemo which has never happened and I was not anemic this time either!!!  :)  My appointment with Dr. Chung went well!  We talked about the progression of this chemo throughout the first few days-- pain, misery, etc.  After a good conversation about the next treatment we had a few moments to just talk.  She is an amazing person and the perfect doctor for me!  She puts me at ease and always finds the best way to make me more comfortable while keeping the eye on the end result we want!  She and the staff check in on the whole family each time and really give us all so much encouragement!  Nurse Tech Lauren has been such a huge part of journey and I really get a feeling of all will be good when I see her coming to get me.  Yesterday was a strange day because when I went back to the treatment room to get my blood work done I got there and it was empty of patients.  Now I realize it was a Friday afternoon but I have NEVER gone in and been the only one!!!  I had all the nurses to myself which is fun because they are all so different but such a dynamic team of women!!!  It was an overall happy appointment for so many reasons!
I went home and had to relax because I really had used up all my energy.  I had fun hearing about all the girls days.  They were getting excited to head off to a school "Gala" at Katelynn's school where they could dance, play, eat, and much more.  Keith took them while I stayed at home to rest.  They all had fun and saw so many friends!
We all went to bed at 9pm.... I slept but then woke up with fear running through me.
I realized that I am still holding on to fear that these cells are throughout my body and we won't be able to get rid of it.  I am also holding on to a memory of my 3rd cousin, Erica, who lost her battle of cancer in her early 30s.  Erica was such a vibrant person who was someone I had looked up to my whole life.  We would go to Easter on the farm with Grandma's whole family.  There would be Great Aunts and Great Uncles and cousins of all ages.  At this HUGE event, it was always fun to see all the kids and hangout with the older cousins.  As we got older Erica was such a fun person to talk with and learn about all she was doing.  She had a little girl a few years before I had Katelynn and we loved to watch Gabby grow since she was the first baby for all of us.  It was such a shock to me when Erica was diagnosed and had such a struggle with the treatments working.  I rushed down one day to see her when she was at her parents house and on Hospice.  In such a short time she had lost her sight and was in so much pain and looked so different.  When talking with her, the Erica I knew was there but she was facing so much!  I remember asking her if there was anything I could do for her and her words are etched in my mind:  "please watch Gabby grow up for me since I won't be able to be with her."  I cried so hard all the way home because I had not faced death of a person just a few years older than me.  She died soon after that visit with her family around her.  Since that day I have prayed Erica is at peace and that I am able to do as she asked.  Throughout my battle I have held Erica in my heart and prayed that I have the strength to fight this cancer!  I want to watch my girls and Gabby grow up into the women they will become for both Erica and myself! 

A quote from a church sign:
"Patience is a virture that carries a great deal of wait."

WOW!  This chemo brings on a whole lot of pain! 
I had a nice Saturday with my whole family!  I was able to have enough energy to go to Libertyville to watch my brother shave his head for St. Baldrick's.  He rose a huge amount of money for the charity and we were all able to go and support him in this!  We also took the opportunity to take a picture of Uncle Baldy and Mommy Baldy together... my poor mom has two bald kids for different reasons but at least we both know we are going to enjoy getting our hair back.  The girls enjoyed the experience and we were able to have a fun time on a chemo weekend which is rare.
The pain started happening on Saturday evening.  But then it became almost unbearable on Sunday afternoon.  It does feel like every nerve ending in my body has pain shooting through it.  I now have a prescription pain med which is making life easier today.  I was warned about this side effect BUT I would have never imagined it could be this bad!  Thank goodness for medicine!
Today is a rest and relaxation day so that I am up to getting back to life tomorrow!

Great news!!!

Lynn made it through #7 well!!  She does not seem to be having any allergic reactions to it and she is even having an easier evening compared to the last set of drugs.  She is dealing with dizziness and some nausea but nothing like she has had over the past months.  It is so wonderful to see her not struggle as she has!

During chemo today we were blessed to be seated near some fun patients who were much older than us but who had so much to share with us!  The gentleman has been dealing with cancer for 4 years and has out lived the first prognosis he was given and he is looking well.  He was such a fun character.  Lynn also had a chance to reconnect with the young couple who we met the last time.  She passed on a way for us to stay connected if they choose which would be great for Lynn because she really was inspired by this couple. 

The day started out with getting the girls out to school and then Lynn and I went off to the doctor by 10am.  At the office the port worked nicely so that was such a relief for Lynn!  Then we went to the exam room with our favorite nurse tech, Lauren, who is one of Lynn's biggest cheerleaders who has helped Lynn stay strong throughout this battle.  Lauren it seems feels the same blessed connection and is so good at encouraging Lynn to keep on going even when it is such a bad day for her.  This will be a relationship I see living on past this experience!  We love the fact that Lauren herself is a twin and she connected with our twins when they visited the office.  It shows how absolutely fantastic this whole office is perfect for Lynn.  Dr. Chung came in to see Lynn and she found her laying on the table which made her concerned.  After Lynn explained she was dizzy and getting rather nauseous , Dr. Chung realized how hard these steroids are on Lynn and she wants to cut down the dose again.  She did her exam and then we went off to the chemo room to get it all started. 

The pre-meds included Benadryl which made Lynn very sleepy.  She had trouble getting comfortable but she slept on and off throughout the entire time.  The drip of the Taxal was done slow to ensure that if there is a reaction they can shut it down fast and get the reaction under control.  Lynn had no reaction that we know of so the next time the drip can be faster.  We were in the office until after 4pm so it was good to leave and get her comfortable at home.  Before we left Dr. Chung came through to make sure Lynn did well and when she saw us still there she came to talk.  She reminded us of the change in steroids for next time.  She then chatted to us about the girls and life in general.  She has made such a great connection to all of us which puts Lynn and I at ease.  She was the perfect match for Lynn because Lynn is most comfortable with people when she feels a connection and has such a trust in the person.

Lynn will be relaxing the rest of the weekend to recover.  We hope all of you have a great weekend and remember to love each day as we do!

The night before Chemo went well!

I had parent/ teacher conferences at my school yesterday and I worked the whole time so I could see all the parents that wanted to see me.  It was the BEST conferences I have ever had... who would have thought cancer would bring this???  I have been blessed with the most supportive, caring parents and students this year and I even had many previous students and parents seek me out to give me their love and support!  This shows that kindness and caring is the best way to live because it really will come back to you when you need it!

The steroids I had to take last night and this morning are not affecting me as bad as I was thinking they would.  The meds to reduce the side effects are really warding off these feelings so I am relieved! 

I think I am also in such a positive place from last night that I am ready to face this next battle!  I want to come out the winner so I will keep thinking only good thoughts!

We will keep you all informed of all that will come today!  Thank you for the prayers and thoughts!  Please always know I feel them each and every day as I am lifted up in this tough time! 

Blessings of all kinds

I am in so much awe of all that we have been blessed with these past months.  There are so many family members who have helped us stay strong and find ways to support us in all ways!  It has been a great two weeks in which I have been able to focus on being a mom and enjoying life in general!

I have also been meeting with the parents of my students and am in awe of how supportive and positive they are!  I am so blessed to be surrounded by people in all parts of my life who are my "cheerleaders" on this journey!  The parents have called me an inspiration which I am so proud of because I will love it if there young people will leave this experience knowing that cancer does not have to be too scary!  I am also so thankful that I am able to work through this because I find that I am given so much energy from the students!  They are so encouraging and allow me the time in the day where I do not have to think about the cancer!  I love every moment I teach each week.

Friends are so important to us as well!  The blessings we are given by them are abundant!  The friends who fight over having the girls on the days of treatments are priceless!  The friends who write encouraging messages to us are wonderful!  The friends who have fed us throughout the past months are fantastic!  The friends who pray for us are the BEST!  Keith looks forward to the day we beat this and we can through a HUGE party to thank all of you!

Life is a gift and all of you are part of that gift for me!  Thank you for all you do!

Mouth Sores:  have you ever had a mouth sore on your tongue?  Have you ever had 15 mouth sores at one time? 
I hope you have not experienced this because this is the side-effect that is a royal pain for me!  I have been taking an anti-viral medicine to try toalleviate this problem but these stubborn things are not completely leaving!!  I have one area on my tongue that is in horrible pain!  I have been gargling wi th various concoctions and keep my mouth as clean as possible, but nothing has made them all go away.  This is not a diet I recommend!!  It is really hard to eat and even harder to swallow at times!

My nails are another side-effect that is increasingly a problem!  They are showing signs of the possibility that I will lose them.  They are growing in an unusual way and changing colors.

The GOOD thing is that I have a nice amount of energy that has allowed me to get the things I have needed to get done completed.  I still do not have tons of energy but the fact that I have had just enough is great!  I am having a great week at work!  There is something about teaching that makes me so happy!  I feel so good while I am teaching and do not have trouble with my energy.  It is such a great feeling and it is a few hours I do not have to focus on the fact that I have Cancer.

I am not looking forward to this treatment Friday but it does help to know that this is #7 and when it is done I will only have 3 more!!!!  I look back and see how far I have come in the last 4 months!  Today is so different than the day of diagnosis on November 16th!  I am in such a better place today and know now that the team behind me will not allow me to give up on this battle until we have the victory!

What a week!!

I have been blessed with energy to get through all this week contained!  We had to pull together all the paperwork for Kindergarten registration for the twins as well as go and register them.  It is so wonderful to see these two little girls grow up!  We also had the excitement of Preschool Open House which was wonderful!  All of these things were fun and I am proud to say I made it to all! 
The doctor visit yesterday was a good one!  The port worked well to get my blood test.  I met with the Nurse Practitioner to have a "chemo teach" about the new chemo I start next week, Taxal.  She was very excited to tell me that it will be "easier" than what I have already endured!!  It comes with its own side effects but they are not as intense as the last 6 treatments have been.  The only downfall for me is I have to take a large dose of thesteroids the night before treatment to ward off reactions to this drug.  I pray I do OK with this!
The weekend is starting off nicely!  I am exhausted from the week so Mom and Dad have kept the girls for me last night which is always wonderful!  I went to bed rather early and slept great!  We will have a nice weekend of down time and time with family and friends.  There is nothing I love more!!