The holidays flew by...

WOW!  I know we all feel this way but how does it work that we prepare for Christmas and all the festivities for weeks or even months but then it is all over in a matter of minutes.  The presents are open quickly.  The food is devoured and the cookies just disappear into thin air!

I found myself sitting back this year at all the wonderful gatherings I was present at and taking in all the things I love about the event.  We started with Klunder Christmas the weekend before Christmas.  It is always a fantastic time to get together with this supportive part of the family.  The girls are all old enough to enjoy each other and they played so well together!  I was looking at the kids table and in awe of all the gorgeous Klunder girls that we created!  They are all strong willed and have very similar genetics which is comical at times.  We had such a wonderful time with everyone and it is so fantastic to think back to all the support and love this group of people sent our way during our battle and beyond.

On Friday before Christmas I had a Herceptin treatment.  I had not slept the night before because I was wrapping presents and doing other preparations.  I was rather anxious when I got to the doctors office and realized I would not have my nurse Maria.  Panic began to set in and even the nurses were anxious about who would actually attempt it first.  Kate took the challenge and at first looked like she did not get the vein.  But as she was going to pull the needle out it went in perfectly!!!  It even gave blood as well as took the saline.  We all did a celebration dance!  I did have some nausea and a headache but we thought it all came from my anxiety.  I was able to get through the treatment and went home for a nap.  It took a lot for me to stay relaxing all day as there were other things to do.  I prayed that night that I could have the strength to enjoy and participate in all the activities of the Christmas weekend... and God listened.  He provided me with the strength and the ability to be at all the events.

Christmas eve was a day FULL of family activities!  Santa has to come on this morning in our house as he did throughout my whole childhood because we travel to the farm on Christmas day.  SO Katelynn woke up first and was so excited to see all the presents she ended up waking up everyone else to open presents.  It was a fun morning full of exciting surprises for all!  Around 10:30 AM we headed off to my parents house for the annual Moore family Christmas brunch.  Mom makes such wonderful casseroles and we had an abundance of yummy food.  We love to spend quiet time with Brad and my parents so this is a fun day.  We took the annual family picture which is always an adventure especially since we tried to get Malibu in the picture.  Kids are hard enough but then the dog makes it even harder to get a good picture.  Of course, we opened presents which was completed quickly and we all enjoyed many fun new "toys."  After Keith had a quick nap we packed up all the presents into the car and came home for an hour and a half before we had to be at church.  We all took part in various aspects of the Christmas eve service at church.  It was a very memorable service for the Klunders and Moores!  After church we went over to Keith's parents house for a small gathering of the Pepsniks.  We ate dinner with everyone and again opened presents.  The kids were spoiled rotten but so happy with all they received.  I was so amazed that I had enough energy to make it all the way through the day.  I did fall asleep in a chair at Keith's parents but that was really good for me!

Christmas day is the Moore family gathering down in Wliton Center, IL.  The family farm is a great place to celebrate the true meaning of Christmas.  We are such a large group that we meet at the church in the recreation room to have our gathering.  We had so many great food items to choose from and so many family members to catch up with!  I absolutely love this event because it has nothing to do with gifts but rather it is all about the togetherness of family!  There are 18 great grandchildren and they were all present so we were able to take a picture to blow up for Grandma and Grandpa.   All my dad's siblings were there as well so we had a great picture session.  There are so many memories I have from that day and I know that each one of my family members has those memories too!  One sweet thing was when I was able to take a picture with my Aunt Leann and my grandma who are both survivors with me.  I could not have been as strong as I was during my battle without the support of my Aunt Leann!  I love you Aunt Leann and know you are ALWAYS in my prayers!!

The past two days I have been resting up from the weekend exhaustion.  BUT I have also taken the opportunity to spend one-on-one time with each of my daughters.  Each one has a different activity they want to do so I have gone shopping with Sarah and I went to a movie with Lindsey.  Katelynn and I will be going to the Marriott with my mom to see White Christmas.  I am enjoying this break to the fullest extent as I want to enjoy life!

Coming back from that wonderful getaway was hard but we are adjusted and moving on with the festivities of Christmas! 

It is amazing to me as I reflect upon just one year ago!  I was wrapping presents last night and realizing how much has changed in a year!  I have energy and am felling more and more healthy each day.  I am really not sure how anything got done last Christmas but that was truly amazing!  I am so grateful that I have been given the chance to make more memories!

I also realized how used to going for treatments I have become!  I am going in for Herceptin on Friday and I am not anxious about it!  After the last treatment which I drove myself to and was alone for, I have a sense of empowerment and knowledge that I can do this on my own.  Although I do enjoy having company!!!

Life has come back to normal.... as I have been out shopping with the girls this week and seeing Santa with them I have been reacquainted with the joys of breaking up constant fighting.  It was only a matter of one hour after seeing Santa that the girls waged a war against each other in the middle of Macy's.  It was so bad that one of the associates came over to try and help me... oh the joys of being a mother.  BUT I am still so thankful that I am here to break up the fights and even scold the girls to learn to get along! 

Oh it is so good to be alive!

Life in Paradise

I am sitting outside on a balcony on the 26^th floor of a gorgeous hotel wearing sunglasses and pjs enjoying an ocean view in December.  All of these things are so uncommon to me but are FABULOUS!!  Hollywood, FL is the location I am sitting in and we are overlooking both the Atlantic Ocean as well as the view to Miami.  This morning is absolutely beautiful!  It is sunny and warm!  I am enjoying getting my Vitamin D naturally!  Although we are here during the Christmas season and it is very hard to digest the palm trees decorated with Christmas lights or the garland hanging all over while there are palm trees and 80-degree weather without any snow.  It is rather amazing how much fake snow there is and how many ways they create that effect!  (Too bad we cannot send some of the winter weather to them to experience!) 

This gift is one that we enjoyed last year BUT I did not take in all that there is to experience!  I am such a changed person from last years trip down here (Pre-diagnosis) I did have a moment of mourning for that Lynn right when we got here.  All week leading up to the trip I was a little on edge.  I of course thought it was all the preparations I had to accomplish in order to take this trip and I know that contributed…. BUT I realize now that there was some anxiety in facing what was the changing point in our lives. 

One of my first moments of realization was when we were in the airport waiting for the plane and my nerves were not racing a million miles a minute (Pre-cancer I was terrified of flying because I ultimately was terrified to die.)  Instead I was taking in the sites of people watching and enjoying my alone time with Keith.  I was quietly praying all would go well for the girls and all who are taking care of them while I was gone… BUT even that was no longer worrying but rather honest hope and love being sent their way!  On the plane I was calm (and exhausted from not being able to sleep the night before and getting up at 3am) and slept a great deal of the time away.  On arrival we began to fly through the clouds.  They were big beautiful cumulous clouds and I began to think of my girls and remembered one of them asking me if these were the clouds angels sat on.  I found my self looking to see if there were angels on the clouds so I could tell Sarah that I did not see anyone but I could feel they were there.  I am really enjoying the calmer me and the Lynn who sees the beauty in just about everything and every situation!

Today is the girls Winter recital for dance!  We are missing all the rehearsals and then ultimately to performance!  I am sad not to be there but over this past year I have learned to miss things and have them share it with me afterwards!  I have also learned to let others take part in the caring for and bringing up of my girls.  I am still mom but it takes a village to raise children and I am allowing my village to do more than I used to!  This trip would not be possible without so many people in our lives who love us!  First and foremost our parents who are taking over for us with our children.  Marcia and Ed have the weekend duties.  They are also teaming up with Laura and Jen during the recital to help them do all the backstage work.  Laura is even taking the girls for the day during the time between the recital and the performance which is so much weight lifted off my parents!  Cinde will be taking the girls to our house on Sunday night to be at home for the rest of the week we are gone.  She will get the girls through their Monday and Tuesday routine for us as well as get them off to school on Wednesday.  Pat drove us to the airport and will pick us up from the airport when we return home Wednesday.  The school staff will be looking out for the girls and knows we are gone so I know they all will be extra helpful this week as we even transition back into real life when we return.  I may not have seen any angels in the clouds because God has blessed us with so many here on Earth!

My energy level and my body are showing signs of change from last year.  I was so exhausted yesterday and when I overdid because of all the excitement I really paid for it in pain.  I did sleep wonderfully last night once I was asleep!  So this morning I am refreshed and ready to go!  I do realize that I could tire out again so I know now to prioritize the activities.  I listed out for myself all I wanted to do in order of importance.  That way if we do not get to it all I will have most likely done all I truly wanted to do and miss some of the extras!  This is a life skill I probably should have been doing all along but it took cancer to make me really learn it!

I pray everyone I love is safe and well!  I pray that all is going good for everyone involved in making this trip possible for us!  Know we are sending all of you love from sunny Florida!  We hope some of the sun and warmth gets to all!

Life goes on...

It's Official!  Everyone in my house has decided cancer is gone and so we are back to Mommy doing it all!!  I had a fit the other morning because every time I decluttered an area in the living room one of the girls would come along and pile something new where it was cleaned... needless to say mommy lost her cool and everyone got an earful from me.  We are all readjusting to life without cancer again!  It is a slow transition but a refreshing one!

Today I did what I have laughed at friends and family for doing.... I scrambled to clean before the cleaning ladies came over today for our first major cleaning.  WOW!  I did not realize all the "Stuff" we had piled everywhere!  Aunt Candy and Uncle Terry gave us this generous gift certificate for last Christmas to have Molly Maids in to clean for us.  We final got the courage to use it and I am SOOOOOO glad!  It was such a blessing to walk into a clean house that I did not have to use up my limited energy to do!  I am so glad we waited till now because I was able to then have energy to pull out the Christmas tree tonight after all the activities of the day and decorate with the girls.  It was such a fun evening!   They were so excited to pull out their ornaments and talk about each of them!  I loved watching them work on the tree as they decorated in their own way!  I used to wonder why my mom did not decorate with her ornaments until we were all done with ours.... but I found myself doing that same thing with my girls.  This holiday is really for the kids!  It is so awesome to see it through their eyes!  What a great night and memory which was only able to happen because of the burden that was lifted from me for the week!  Thank you Candy and Terry!

I have had many wonderful things happen over these past weeks and am in awe of how blessed I am!  I have met people who were connected to people in my life which made the world become a little smaller!  At treatment this past Friday I met a woman who lives near the school I teach and who knows many teachers I work with.  She was a wonderful person to talk to during my hour and a half of treatment.  This treatment was the first time that I went alone!  This was huge because I have really needed to lean on whoever is with me.  I did well and my veins cooperated for Nurse Maria.  Then right after the treatment I met up with Keith, Wendi and Ken to go to the Blackhawks game.  Cousin Tim came through for us again and got us 8th row seats behind the visitors bench.  It was AMAZING!!!  The game was awesome!  The team came through in a shoot out to win!  We were able to see the whole game and I even did the crazy fan thing and got myself and Wendi on TV during the intermission break.  Hockey has become addicting to me!  Thank you Tim!

Life is moving and I am finding each day that I am not as far behind as I was the day before!  I am actually getting back in this marathon on my own terms!  I won't forget the lessons I have learned from this past year:  I will cherish every event I am present at and love all the time I have with my friends and family!  I will remember that I am strong and can overcome whatever is put in my path.  Life is a gift and we need to live every moment to the fullest!