WOW! It has been a rocky few days on this journey! I was reminded of my favorite movie when I was a child, Polyanna. I have been able to stay positive for the most part up until this treatment and then I think I gave up! It took alot to bring me to such a low place but it only took a night of watching TV with my whole family on our reclining couch last night. As I looked at all that I love on the couch I realized that there is no way I wanted to ever get so low again! These beautiful girls and loving husband are why I fight this the hardest! I also fight hard because I want to be back to living life again!
The struggle I am having right now is dealing with how much I energy and ability to be a part of life during these treatment weekends. I am feeling like I am missing out on so much and I am finding myself to be a burden which is about the hardest thing I have to face! I am the "doer" and not the one to sit on the sidelines. I do have to find some peace in knowing that this is the one time I must take it easy in order to come out of this stronger!
I have found a quote from a dear friend that will help me get through this time, "Change your thoughts and you can change your world." I want to find that smile again and I know I am on the way back to that happy place! I am encouraged by the amount of energy I am getting back even this morning and will look forward to celebrating all that I am able to do these next 10 days until I face the next round of chemo.
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