Well this was an interesting day in my life! I was half way to work and had a full blown panic attack. For those that do not know a panic attack feels as if you are going to die: your heart races and it is hard to catch your breathe and you may even cry uncontrollably. I was having all of these things happen to me on Peterson Road this morning. It came on as a surprise to me because I have suffered from panic attacks during post partum of all my pregnancies. I have been put on medicines and gone through counseling to learn how to alleviate them in the past. I was not expecting to feel this way again but it was like a BLAST from the past! I was not willing to allow these attacks to rule my life again so I called the doctors office and got an appointment for the afternoon. I then called around to try to find my mom to hhelp talk me through it, but she was not available. So I ended up calling my dad's cell phone not thinking I would get him BUT he picked up. I know it was a tough call for him since I sounded so hysterical in one sense and my words were rational in another. It meant so much to have dad help me get through this. By the time we were getting off, I had my breathing under control and I was feeling more in control of my emotions. I kept telling dad that I knew this was all happening because the Tamoxifen is changing my hormones and my internal chemistry. After pulling myself together, I made it through the day at work with very few people knowing about all the happened to me on my way in there. A smile can cover a great deal!
At the doctors office I was able to talk with my friend Lauren as she took my vitals! She is such a blessing for me! She was the one to answer the phone when I called during the panic attack to get the appointment and she transferred me to a wonderful nurse who found me an appointment. When Dr. Chung came in we began to talk about why I was there. I explained how this all truly started 9 years ago after Katelynn was born. We talked about the different drugs and how we could move forward. We are going to up one of my drugs to see if this can hhelp and I will have a prescription for another drug that can hhelp if another attack comes on as strong as this one did. I left this appointment feeling better and empowered that I can be in control of this terrible disorder as best as I can!
I pray tomorrow will be a better day!
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