The cloud of dread has come over me tonight. I know that tomorrow is a necessary evil in order to get to the end of the race a winner! I just cannot convince my emotions to bypass the anxiety that the night before chemo brings. I just keep telling myself that I want this cancer to be gone which means I need to go through all of these treatments. I guess it is normal not to want to benauseous and dizzy and stuck in bed or on the couch for four days straight. I am sure it is no picnic to anyone to fill your body with toxins and other meds that battle each others side effects. I am completely human to wonder if all of this is working so I know I am going through this for a good reason. OHHHHHH! How I detest the negative me! I do not like feeling this miserable! But for the moment this is the state I am in and must let it pass!
The last bedtime that I will have energy to do the whole routine is upon me. I will enjoy every moment of tucking my three sweeties into bed for the night and give them an extra special hug since it will be many days before I will be able to do this again.
Good night to all!
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