Radiation SIM is complete! I went down to the basement of Lake Forest Hospital for this appointment and was so glad to be welcomed by the friendly face of Jean who was the secretary at Grayslake last week! She is such a sweet and friendly person and my journey down to the basement was strange so I was so thankful to find her there when I reached my destination... It was strange because the elevator acted up and took me up when it had shown that it was going down and then when a tech brought a bed on to the elevator to go up we went down to the level I needed. I hate elevators so you can all tell how much I loved this trip and imagine how nervous I was when I finally made it to the basement....I must say for the basement of the hospital this office area was rather elegant but maybe that is because we were in Lake Forest!!
Once I was there I met a lovely radiation therapist Kally who took me back to the changing area. I got into one of those glamorous robes and then was met by another sweet radiation therapist Melissa who took me back to the CT scan room. Here is where I had a mold of my head and shoulders in the position I will need to be in for the radiation each day. I had a 3 minute scan of my upper body to help decide the angle of the radiation. It was one of the easiest tests I have had to have so far!!! I had a few pictures taken for measurements and one of my face to help make sure I am the right patient each time. I am still so impressed at how wonderful all of the people have been who have been involved in my journey through Breast Cancer. God truly provides such caring and compassionate people!! I can feel how much they truly care and that is so helpful for me to keep my spirits up throughout these different treatments!
As I finished up and got rid of the robe for my own clothes I was then able to set up my appointments for the 28 radiation sessions. I will be having radiation at 8:30 am in Grayslake everyday from Aug. 2 to Sept. 9. This time will allow me to start my day off early and either have a fun day with the kids during summer and then it will also allow me time to get to work when school begins. I am also able to change the time if I need to which helps since I will have to transition back into work while still having treatments.
I am looking forward to going into work tomorrow for the first time since I left in May. It feels like I have been gone for a lot longer!! I am moving rooms so I am anxious to figure out where I am moving and how all of my stuff will get moved. I am even more excited to see my family at OG!!
Life is so good! Amongst all the appointments I was blessed to stop in at Picnic Basket for lunch and be brightened by the owner and her daughter as they complimented me on how inspirational I am for being so positive during this tough time. I also got to go to the Tavern tonight with my mom as the girls were in Vacation Bible School at church. We visited with Brad and had a nice quiet time together to catch up and just enjoy our time together! My mom is awesome!!! She is such a HUGE part of my strength and positiveness! I love her so much and am so glad she is one of my best friends as well as my mom!! Then while I was at the Tavern a blast from the past occurred when Ricki Lutter who lived across the street from me from age 4 to 17 (she was four years younger than me) came into have dinner with her husband. It is so fun to see someone I knew as a kid who is all grown up and has a beautiful family. It brought back so many awesome memories and made me smile!
Life is great... and yes I have cancer but I am still alive!!! I want to live this life making a difference and loving every moment!
Monday, July 25, 2011
Saturday, July 23, 2011
Herceptin was rather easy!! I was quite anxious as we drove into Libertyville but I was not sure why?!!??! I do believe that it was a combination of worrying about it being the first time and not knowing what to expect as well as concern that they would not find a vein since mine seem to hide well!
Worrying was not necessary as usual! The nurse did have a tough time with my veins but in the end she found one that worked. The Herceptin was nothing compared to the chemo treatments I have had! It was so easy! The only thing is they gave me Benadryl to ensure I had not allergic reactions and this made me fall fast asleep. This first time was longer to ensure that I did not react to it so we were in the office for 3 and a half hours but from now on it can all happen a lot faster. All my worries were a waste!!
I was so happy to be able to go to lunch with my dear college friend and big sis in Alpha Phi, Christy! We met for lunch after my treatment and had a fantastic time catching up and just enjoying each others company!!! We met at Elmhurst College but it seems like we were never not in each others lives!!
In the late afternoon we took the girls over to Austin's birthday BBQ which was a blast for us all. By that time I was pretty tired but I wanted to go and spend time with Wendi and Kim and all the husbands that I overcame my exhaustion and am so glad I did!! We had so many laughs and enjoyed this get-together so much!! The Sangria was helpful too!!
As we sat in the chemo room, we ended up in the chair next to a very talkative, older man who we have seen before at chemo but it has been a while. Dave is a character who has such a fun attitude about life which seems to have come from having inoperable cancer. He knows all the nurses and kids around with them all and he talks very openly about his cancer and how he will never be able to stop treatment because it really just helps keep the cancer at bay. I could tell it was tough at times to talk about how his cancer being fatal. He is still working but takes every opportunity to live life his way! He is a huge car racing fan so he spends his weekends at races as often as he can. He laughs a lot and jokes with everyone! I am so blessed to have gotten to know him even better this time because he did remind me to thank God for all the meds that allow me to know I will have kicked my cancer's BUTT!! God Bless Dave!!
Sarah gave us a scare when she took a dive on our neighbors driveway head first! She really did a number on her forehead but she seems to be OK. I have her sleeping on the couch next to me so I can keep a better eye on her. She has slept well through the night and I pray that the lump is not too painful or large!! She is so clumsy these days!!!
The weekend will be a fun one for us all and we are preparing for a family getaway next weekend! It will be so nice to have time with the girls and Keith away from home where we can focus on just us! I am loving all the new found energy I have and looking forward to becoming part of the world again instead of sitting on the sidelines! Strength and energy are increased each day which is AWESOME!!
Worrying was not necessary as usual! The nurse did have a tough time with my veins but in the end she found one that worked. The Herceptin was nothing compared to the chemo treatments I have had! It was so easy! The only thing is they gave me Benadryl to ensure I had not allergic reactions and this made me fall fast asleep. This first time was longer to ensure that I did not react to it so we were in the office for 3 and a half hours but from now on it can all happen a lot faster. All my worries were a waste!!
I was so happy to be able to go to lunch with my dear college friend and big sis in Alpha Phi, Christy! We met for lunch after my treatment and had a fantastic time catching up and just enjoying each others company!!! We met at Elmhurst College but it seems like we were never not in each others lives!!
In the late afternoon we took the girls over to Austin's birthday BBQ which was a blast for us all. By that time I was pretty tired but I wanted to go and spend time with Wendi and Kim and all the husbands that I overcame my exhaustion and am so glad I did!! We had so many laughs and enjoyed this get-together so much!! The Sangria was helpful too!!
As we sat in the chemo room, we ended up in the chair next to a very talkative, older man who we have seen before at chemo but it has been a while. Dave is a character who has such a fun attitude about life which seems to have come from having inoperable cancer. He knows all the nurses and kids around with them all and he talks very openly about his cancer and how he will never be able to stop treatment because it really just helps keep the cancer at bay. I could tell it was tough at times to talk about how his cancer being fatal. He is still working but takes every opportunity to live life his way! He is a huge car racing fan so he spends his weekends at races as often as he can. He laughs a lot and jokes with everyone! I am so blessed to have gotten to know him even better this time because he did remind me to thank God for all the meds that allow me to know I will have kicked my cancer's BUTT!! God Bless Dave!!
Sarah gave us a scare when she took a dive on our neighbors driveway head first! She really did a number on her forehead but she seems to be OK. I have her sleeping on the couch next to me so I can keep a better eye on her. She has slept well through the night and I pray that the lump is not too painful or large!! She is so clumsy these days!!!
The weekend will be a fun one for us all and we are preparing for a family getaway next weekend! It will be so nice to have time with the girls and Keith away from home where we can focus on just us! I am loving all the new found energy I have and looking forward to becoming part of the world again instead of sitting on the sidelines! Strength and energy are increased each day which is AWESOME!!
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Radiation is underway...
I am back from my Radiation consultation with Dr. Poser in Grayslake. It was a great appointment and I am feeling so blessed for all the wonderful offices I have dealt with throughout this journey!! All of the women at the front desk of this office were so welcoming and helpful that I was put at ease right away! Then when I went into the inner office I found the rooms so warm and comfortable. I was asked to change into a lovely robe and then go to the room to meet the doctor. When I was ready we entered the room we met Dr. Poser and the social worker (who was new and was observing for the day). They were so friendly and very easy to talk with! Keith was sooooo tired (no sleep for over 24 hours will do that to a person!!) that he fell asleep during my exam... but I will say doctors are the most understanding people when it comes to sleep deprivation!! Dr. Poser answered all of our questions and explained everything we needed to understand:
Radiation will be the easiest part of my treatments!! I will have one hour long appointment at the hospital to have scans and measurements to create the best path for the radiation on my body. The doctor will take all the scans and make a virtual set up for me to work out the correct angles and spots to do the radiation on my body. Once that appointment is complete (which is scheduled for this coming Monday) and he has worked out these measurements, etc. I will then begin the daily radiation. I will have 28 treatments of radiation which will take 5 and a half weeks. I will be scheduled for the same time each day of the week but can change occasionally when I have a conflict. The radiation therapists all look very nice and were welcoming as well!
It feels so good to know that this part of the journey will begin and end rather quickly! It will essentially take the entire month of August and then I can begin September having finished the treatments we have known about all along since the beginning of this journey.
Here is the humor that came from this appointment:
Dr. Poser has twins himself who are 4 so he can understand the crazy life I lead. Keith and I are amazed at how many of the people who are involved in making me better have twins or are a twin. We wonder if these are little signs from God to say these are all good people for us!?!?!?
Dr. Poser was very happy to see Dr. Lu had not filled my expanders too much because it will make me more comfortable throughout radiation. I told him I had to convince Dr. Lu that smaller was better for me.. which I am sure he does not hear very often!! :)
Dr. Poser explained how he called Dr. Chung before seeing me to find out some details and then was reminded that I was one of the patients discussed at the panel talk... patients are only identified by initials to keep HIPPA happy so he did not recognize me until she made the connection. We then talked about the change in adding Herceptin and it was wonderful to hear from him why it is important to go through this extra year as a precaution! I am finding more and more peace in having to go through taking this drug for the duration and now we have to pray the insurance company keeps their end of the bargain!
As I was making my appointment at the hospital the scheduler was wonderful and fit me into a spot but then when she described where to go at the hospital I began to giggle... I am going to radiology oncology which is not at either of the entrances I am familiar with. Instead I have to drive to where the ambulances drive into and park off to the side where the spaces are marked for Rad. Oncology. I then go through a side door which is also labeled and then I go down a hallway and take the door to the right. This radiology department is in the basement due to the nature of treatments they have to perform at times (Radioactive "stuff")... so then I will find the doctor and the technicians who will perform the necessary scans and measurements.
Today was a good day for this cancer journey and my spirit! I am always thanking God for everyone He has sent to help direct me on this journey! I also thank God for all of you who pray for me and support me in all forms!! We are kicking this cancer out of me!!
Radiation will be the easiest part of my treatments!! I will have one hour long appointment at the hospital to have scans and measurements to create the best path for the radiation on my body. The doctor will take all the scans and make a virtual set up for me to work out the correct angles and spots to do the radiation on my body. Once that appointment is complete (which is scheduled for this coming Monday) and he has worked out these measurements, etc. I will then begin the daily radiation. I will have 28 treatments of radiation which will take 5 and a half weeks. I will be scheduled for the same time each day of the week but can change occasionally when I have a conflict. The radiation therapists all look very nice and were welcoming as well!
It feels so good to know that this part of the journey will begin and end rather quickly! It will essentially take the entire month of August and then I can begin September having finished the treatments we have known about all along since the beginning of this journey.
Here is the humor that came from this appointment:
Dr. Poser has twins himself who are 4 so he can understand the crazy life I lead. Keith and I are amazed at how many of the people who are involved in making me better have twins or are a twin. We wonder if these are little signs from God to say these are all good people for us!?!?!?
Dr. Poser was very happy to see Dr. Lu had not filled my expanders too much because it will make me more comfortable throughout radiation. I told him I had to convince Dr. Lu that smaller was better for me.. which I am sure he does not hear very often!! :)
Dr. Poser explained how he called Dr. Chung before seeing me to find out some details and then was reminded that I was one of the patients discussed at the panel talk... patients are only identified by initials to keep HIPPA happy so he did not recognize me until she made the connection. We then talked about the change in adding Herceptin and it was wonderful to hear from him why it is important to go through this extra year as a precaution! I am finding more and more peace in having to go through taking this drug for the duration and now we have to pray the insurance company keeps their end of the bargain!
As I was making my appointment at the hospital the scheduler was wonderful and fit me into a spot but then when she described where to go at the hospital I began to giggle... I am going to radiology oncology which is not at either of the entrances I am familiar with. Instead I have to drive to where the ambulances drive into and park off to the side where the spaces are marked for Rad. Oncology. I then go through a side door which is also labeled and then I go down a hallway and take the door to the right. This radiology department is in the basement due to the nature of treatments they have to perform at times (Radioactive "stuff")... so then I will find the doctor and the technicians who will perform the necessary scans and measurements.
Today was a good day for this cancer journey and my spirit! I am always thanking God for everyone He has sent to help direct me on this journey! I also thank God for all of you who pray for me and support me in all forms!! We are kicking this cancer out of me!!
Monday, July 18, 2011
I am getting back to "normal!!" Today I was able to do so much more than I have had energy to do over these past 7 months...clean and move furniture and organize the house. I know this sounds so exciting to all of you!! I was so proud of myself and so happy that the energy I seemed to have lost is coming back!
I also had to take care of some business like check in at the oncology office to see if the insurance had come through yet... I found out that the insurance company finally authorized this treatment until Dec. 31, 2011 which is half good but then we have to go through all of this again in December to make sure the other half of the treatments are covered. I also got the hospital bill for my portion of the surgery, etc. and was relieved to see we were only paying some hundreds of dollars instead of tens of thousands!!! That is a nice difference!
Tomorrow is my Radiation consultation appointment which will be good to get through and find out what the schedule will be for the next 5 or 6 weeks. It will allow me to find that comfortable sense of control in which I can plan around all the treatments and help keep life going on for the family.
Then on Friday I will have the first Herceptin treatment. I am relieved that I will not have to deal with any side effects! We are even planning quite a few activities for the weekend which is so unusual to me since all though chemo it meant I would have to spend the whole weekend and beyond stuck in the house missing everything!!
Good is coming my way as it has all along!
I also had to take care of some business like check in at the oncology office to see if the insurance had come through yet... I found out that the insurance company finally authorized this treatment until Dec. 31, 2011 which is half good but then we have to go through all of this again in December to make sure the other half of the treatments are covered. I also got the hospital bill for my portion of the surgery, etc. and was relieved to see we were only paying some hundreds of dollars instead of tens of thousands!!! That is a nice difference!
Tomorrow is my Radiation consultation appointment which will be good to get through and find out what the schedule will be for the next 5 or 6 weeks. It will allow me to find that comfortable sense of control in which I can plan around all the treatments and help keep life going on for the family.
Then on Friday I will have the first Herceptin treatment. I am relieved that I will not have to deal with any side effects! We are even planning quite a few activities for the weekend which is so unusual to me since all though chemo it meant I would have to spend the whole weekend and beyond stuck in the house missing everything!!
Good is coming my way as it has all along!
Sunday, July 17, 2011
Humor...
Keith and I have kept our sanity (if you believe we were ever sane) through joking together and humor! Our doctors and nurses have experienced how much it has helped us and have even joined into our fun!
Dr. Chung knows how much I do not enjoy camping (I tolerate it most of the time).... so she has prescribed no more camping for life! :)
Dr. Lu and Keith have had so many jokes amongst themselves that they are either inappropriate for all eyes or they are just not worth this patient's memory. It keeps the anxiety of the procedures at bay most times! :p
Dr. Ganshirt has been one to joke with us during our wait for the OR to open up for a procedure I was heading into. He tries so hard to put me at ease when I am the most anxious! One memorable joke was that he and Keith had time to go have a beer before the OR would finally be ready for us... as I remember that was the same type of joke Dr. Hubble and Keith had before my C-section with the twins. :)
... during my hospital stay there were so many that I cannot even recall them all but it was nice to have some laughs during a time when I truly want to cry or crawl in the corner or disappear! Keith knows me so well that he has made this humor an art form to calm me down!
Warning! Warning! Warning! Warning! Warning! Warning!
****Here are funny things about the changes in me after surgery ******
Let's go back to the VERY beginning.... I have worn a bra since 4th grade and was noticeably more advanced most of my school life in this area! I have really not known life without my large "sisters." The letter size I have worn for many years is too close to the middle of the alphabet I won't even repeat it!! I had to order them because they are not carried in a store!! BUT that has all changed......
Since I had my double mastectomy and even before in the planning for it there have been so many humorous conversations and funny thoughts so I wanted to share some in order to not lose these memories as well as give you a chuckle...
In the planning for the surgery,
We were discussing the size that the new ones would be. I wanted the smallest possible while Keith wanted much more so doctor tried to compromise and say that with my build we would have to do at least a D in order to make his work look good...
In order to complete the details on the "sisters" it takes some twisting, sewing and tattooing... so Keith wants to do the tattooing and add his initials.... what a husband!!! :)
When the diagnosis came last November I was all ready to have both the sisters taken and I tried to encourage Keith to be OK with that by telling him they would be perky for once in my life! :) .... and they are not only perky but they do not even move!!! They are solid pouches of saline!
Descriptions of my old ones.... HUGE, droopy, over worked, flattening, painful, back ache maker, pulled by gravity, hang down to my knees, and made me front heavy... oh yeah and as Keith likes to say they were toe and tummy hiders.
Description of the new ones... little, cute, so different, solid, small handful, and separated all the time!!! Although there is no hiding the rest of my body so the tummy is my first priority to work off as I get stronger!!!
It has been so strange for me to get used to not having to wear a bra in public-- I used to have to put a bra on to even go out to the mailbox at home because it was so obvious! I sleep so much differently because I do not have to pull so much weight with me as I turn from one side to the other during sleep! I DO NOT HAVE LOWER BACK PAIN!!! My shoulder blades and muscles there had the hardest time with the reduciton because they no longer have to be over stretched to carry the extra 20 pounds before!
I am going to get rid of all my old bras and cannot wait!! It has been fun to go shop for new smaller ones! Although I had no idea what size I was and have learned that I am smaller than I ever imagined!! I LOVE IT!!! There are so many more options and so many of them are CUTE!! Fun! Fun!!
Dr. Chung knows how much I do not enjoy camping (I tolerate it most of the time).... so she has prescribed no more camping for life! :)
Dr. Lu and Keith have had so many jokes amongst themselves that they are either inappropriate for all eyes or they are just not worth this patient's memory. It keeps the anxiety of the procedures at bay most times! :p
Dr. Ganshirt has been one to joke with us during our wait for the OR to open up for a procedure I was heading into. He tries so hard to put me at ease when I am the most anxious! One memorable joke was that he and Keith had time to go have a beer before the OR would finally be ready for us... as I remember that was the same type of joke Dr. Hubble and Keith had before my C-section with the twins. :)
... during my hospital stay there were so many that I cannot even recall them all but it was nice to have some laughs during a time when I truly want to cry or crawl in the corner or disappear! Keith knows me so well that he has made this humor an art form to calm me down!
Warning! Warning! Warning! Warning! Warning! Warning!
****Here are funny things about the changes in me after surgery ******
Let's go back to the VERY beginning.... I have worn a bra since 4th grade and was noticeably more advanced most of my school life in this area! I have really not known life without my large "sisters." The letter size I have worn for many years is too close to the middle of the alphabet I won't even repeat it!! I had to order them because they are not carried in a store!! BUT that has all changed......
Since I had my double mastectomy and even before in the planning for it there have been so many humorous conversations and funny thoughts so I wanted to share some in order to not lose these memories as well as give you a chuckle...
In the planning for the surgery,
We were discussing the size that the new ones would be. I wanted the smallest possible while Keith wanted much more so doctor tried to compromise and say that with my build we would have to do at least a D in order to make his work look good...
In order to complete the details on the "sisters" it takes some twisting, sewing and tattooing... so Keith wants to do the tattooing and add his initials.... what a husband!!! :)
When the diagnosis came last November I was all ready to have both the sisters taken and I tried to encourage Keith to be OK with that by telling him they would be perky for once in my life! :) .... and they are not only perky but they do not even move!!! They are solid pouches of saline!
Descriptions of my old ones.... HUGE, droopy, over worked, flattening, painful, back ache maker, pulled by gravity, hang down to my knees, and made me front heavy... oh yeah and as Keith likes to say they were toe and tummy hiders.
Description of the new ones... little, cute, so different, solid, small handful, and separated all the time!!! Although there is no hiding the rest of my body so the tummy is my first priority to work off as I get stronger!!!
It has been so strange for me to get used to not having to wear a bra in public-- I used to have to put a bra on to even go out to the mailbox at home because it was so obvious! I sleep so much differently because I do not have to pull so much weight with me as I turn from one side to the other during sleep! I DO NOT HAVE LOWER BACK PAIN!!! My shoulder blades and muscles there had the hardest time with the reduciton because they no longer have to be over stretched to carry the extra 20 pounds before!
I am going to get rid of all my old bras and cannot wait!! It has been fun to go shop for new smaller ones! Although I had no idea what size I was and have learned that I am smaller than I ever imagined!! I LOVE IT!!! There are so many more options and so many of them are CUTE!! Fun! Fun!!
Saturday, July 16, 2011
Better news tonight!
Alleluia!!!! Power has returned at the Klunder house after only 126 hours of being without it!!! We were all so excited that when we came back to our house this afternoon and we heard the washer running as well as found some of our lights on... the celebration was HUGE!!! I guess we should realize that electricity is something we should not take for granted!!!
I am still finding myself to be exhausted after doing only a few normal things. Life has become rather different over these last months but I am so thankful to be living life as well as I am!! This will be a week of appointments... Tuesday we meet with the Radiology Oncologist, Dr. Poser up in Grayslake. Friday will be my first Herceptin appointment at Dr. Chung's office if the insurance blesses it and sends the authorization number in time. I guess this is a rather expensive drug that really needs more than a verbal blessing from the insurance company employees so the oncology office called me and let me know that they would be more comfortable if we waited for this information to come in before we start. I am grateful since it would be near impossible for us to pay for the insane amount that is charged for this drug. Oh Speaking of charges... WOW did I have to sit down when I received the bill from the hospital of all the charges for my surgery and stay!!! I know it was not outrageous compared to what I have heard others have been charged BUT it is still shocking to see a charge of 5 digits. The insurance company has been charged and we are so blessed to have a maximum out of pocket for the year!!!
Enough about money!!
Family has been the saving grace for us this week! My parents have been saints for allowing my whole crew to live with them for the entire week! They have let us have fridge and freezer space as well as fed us, let us sleep there, and just plain housed us throughout the entire time! It has been a blessing to me because I was able to get some much needed breaks when Grandma or Papa were "entertaining" the kids! Keith's mom also took the kids for us on Friday. We were supposed to be going to my oncology appointment but when it was canceled she still took the kids for us. It gave Keith and I a chance to get a break and so he took me to the Harry Potter movie!!! I have not missed one of these movies in the theater!!! I was pregnant with Katelynn and on bed rest when one came out but Keith still took me... I was home from having the twins for only a couple weeks when mom and dad took me to see another one... now I saw the last one on opening day when I am recovering from cancer treatments and surgery. This last movie is AWESOME!!! I am so glad to have gotten to see it!!!!
Facebook friends have also played a big role in keeping me sane throughout this week! I have been able to be on facebook more since I had a little extra time on my hands. I have so enjoyed reading everyone's posts and getting encouraging messages! Everyone has been so important to me throughout this journey!!
I hope everyone has a wonderful night and stays cool over these tough days ahead of us!
I am still finding myself to be exhausted after doing only a few normal things. Life has become rather different over these last months but I am so thankful to be living life as well as I am!! This will be a week of appointments... Tuesday we meet with the Radiology Oncologist, Dr. Poser up in Grayslake. Friday will be my first Herceptin appointment at Dr. Chung's office if the insurance blesses it and sends the authorization number in time. I guess this is a rather expensive drug that really needs more than a verbal blessing from the insurance company employees so the oncology office called me and let me know that they would be more comfortable if we waited for this information to come in before we start. I am grateful since it would be near impossible for us to pay for the insane amount that is charged for this drug. Oh Speaking of charges... WOW did I have to sit down when I received the bill from the hospital of all the charges for my surgery and stay!!! I know it was not outrageous compared to what I have heard others have been charged BUT it is still shocking to see a charge of 5 digits. The insurance company has been charged and we are so blessed to have a maximum out of pocket for the year!!!
Enough about money!!
Family has been the saving grace for us this week! My parents have been saints for allowing my whole crew to live with them for the entire week! They have let us have fridge and freezer space as well as fed us, let us sleep there, and just plain housed us throughout the entire time! It has been a blessing to me because I was able to get some much needed breaks when Grandma or Papa were "entertaining" the kids! Keith's mom also took the kids for us on Friday. We were supposed to be going to my oncology appointment but when it was canceled she still took the kids for us. It gave Keith and I a chance to get a break and so he took me to the Harry Potter movie!!! I have not missed one of these movies in the theater!!! I was pregnant with Katelynn and on bed rest when one came out but Keith still took me... I was home from having the twins for only a couple weeks when mom and dad took me to see another one... now I saw the last one on opening day when I am recovering from cancer treatments and surgery. This last movie is AWESOME!!! I am so glad to have gotten to see it!!!!
Facebook friends have also played a big role in keeping me sane throughout this week! I have been able to be on facebook more since I had a little extra time on my hands. I have so enjoyed reading everyone's posts and getting encouraging messages! Everyone has been so important to me throughout this journey!!
I hope everyone has a wonderful night and stays cool over these tough days ahead of us!
Friday, July 15, 2011
A Day of No(s)...
No Herceptin today...We are not starting Herceptin today because the insurance has not said they would cover it yet.... I will be making quite a few calls today I am sure!
We still have no power so we will see if ComEd will come through with their promise of all customers will have power tonight... not holding my breathe!! Not one ComEd truck has shown up to fix the lines that are down in our backyard.
No Drains in my body means I am able to do so many things I have not been able to do in a month!! I am back to moving freely and am even able to go around and clean up after these children so my mom's house does not look like a tornado went through it! :)
No More camps for the girls this summer... all the entertainment will have to come from me which will be exhausting!
We still have no power so we will see if ComEd will come through with their promise of all customers will have power tonight... not holding my breathe!! Not one ComEd truck has shown up to fix the lines that are down in our backyard.
No Drains in my body means I am able to do so many things I have not been able to do in a month!! I am back to moving freely and am even able to go around and clean up after these children so my mom's house does not look like a tornado went through it! :)
No More camps for the girls this summer... all the entertainment will have to come from me which will be exhausting!
Thursday, July 14, 2011
No More Drains...
...makes me smile!! I feel so free now that I do not have any tubes connected to me! I do not have to count anymore "cc"s of fluid or deal with the pain that was coming from the right drain when I would move wrong. Freedom is so nice and it has not been 24 hours yet! :)
Yesterday Keith and I went to the hospital to meet Dr. Lu before he went into surgery for the afternoon. It was interesting maneuvering through the hospital when you were not technically a patient... the nurses were the hardest ones to get through in order to meet up with the doctor, but they must have been convinced we were nice people because they let us have a room to wait for him in day surgery.
Dr. Lu is such a fantastic doctor but he is really such a great person! He came in to the room and was so caring about how we were doing. He and Keith are so comfortable around each other so they, of course, started joking around and making lite of the situation and in the end distracted me from the drains being pulled out. Although the laughter did not distract me from the pain that would come from Dr. Lu deciding to remove a skin tag from the area. He just casually cut the skin off quickly but it really HURT!!! Although it was something that I have hated for years and now that the pain is gone I am so happy he got rid of it! We were done within 15 minutes from start to finish but it was a huge weight lifted off of me since I was so sick of those drains. As we were leaving Dr. Lu and Keith kept joking but then doctor gave me a hug and told me to have all the radiation I need to get rid of this cancer and then we will talk about the next step. I told him I wanted to use my stomach tissue still and he got excited and said he would love to do that since it would be great for me to have the benefit of the tummy tuck that comes with the procedure. I will start to get my body back!!!! It is so nice to have something else to look forward to in the near future...even if it does mean another surgery!!!
...Oh we are still out of power! We are one of the lucky ones who will probably not be fixed by ComEd until this weekend. It has truly become such a hassle since we are trying to guess when we might be back to the house and then pack what we might need to live at mom and dad's. I cannot complain too much because we are so blessed to have mom and dad's house to go to and live for as long as we need. I am praying for all of those people both we know and even those we do not know who are staying in their houses without power. This disaster has gone on so long and we have all lost so much! If I think about it I will start to cry!
Life is going on and I am trying to love each and every day that comes! We have so much to be thankful for even in this stressful time! God has blessed me with so much!
Tomorrow starts a new chapter in my life with cancer. I will begin Herceptin tomorrow and am now looking forward to moving on. I will also be meeting with the Radiology Oncologist, Dr. Posner on Tuesday morning to learn how we will begin radiation. It does feel good to be moving towards the goal again instead of waiting and waiting to find out the plan.
Yesterday Keith and I went to the hospital to meet Dr. Lu before he went into surgery for the afternoon. It was interesting maneuvering through the hospital when you were not technically a patient... the nurses were the hardest ones to get through in order to meet up with the doctor, but they must have been convinced we were nice people because they let us have a room to wait for him in day surgery.
Dr. Lu is such a fantastic doctor but he is really such a great person! He came in to the room and was so caring about how we were doing. He and Keith are so comfortable around each other so they, of course, started joking around and making lite of the situation and in the end distracted me from the drains being pulled out. Although the laughter did not distract me from the pain that would come from Dr. Lu deciding to remove a skin tag from the area. He just casually cut the skin off quickly but it really HURT!!! Although it was something that I have hated for years and now that the pain is gone I am so happy he got rid of it! We were done within 15 minutes from start to finish but it was a huge weight lifted off of me since I was so sick of those drains. As we were leaving Dr. Lu and Keith kept joking but then doctor gave me a hug and told me to have all the radiation I need to get rid of this cancer and then we will talk about the next step. I told him I wanted to use my stomach tissue still and he got excited and said he would love to do that since it would be great for me to have the benefit of the tummy tuck that comes with the procedure. I will start to get my body back!!!! It is so nice to have something else to look forward to in the near future...even if it does mean another surgery!!!
...Oh we are still out of power! We are one of the lucky ones who will probably not be fixed by ComEd until this weekend. It has truly become such a hassle since we are trying to guess when we might be back to the house and then pack what we might need to live at mom and dad's. I cannot complain too much because we are so blessed to have mom and dad's house to go to and live for as long as we need. I am praying for all of those people both we know and even those we do not know who are staying in their houses without power. This disaster has gone on so long and we have all lost so much! If I think about it I will start to cry!
Life is going on and I am trying to love each and every day that comes! We have so much to be thankful for even in this stressful time! God has blessed me with so much!
Tomorrow starts a new chapter in my life with cancer. I will begin Herceptin tomorrow and am now looking forward to moving on. I will also be meeting with the Radiology Oncologist, Dr. Posner on Tuesday morning to learn how we will begin radiation. It does feel good to be moving towards the goal again instead of waiting and waiting to find out the plan.
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
No Power reminds me...
..Life goes on even if I have cancer! On Monday morning we were getting ready to go have breakfast with friends so I could have my Leah fix (other than my girls she is absolutely adorable) and of course see Jen and Jay. BUT all of a sudden the wind started blowing fiercely and then we heard some of the strangest noises. There was a large crack and then the lights went out abruptly. We heard some branches hit the roof so we started to try and look for where there might be damaged... that was when we say the tree in the back had fallen and taken out the power lines. Keith was in the kitchen saw the explosion from the transformer on the pole in the backyard. He said there was blue sparks shooting out of it. With the amount of work ComEd has had to do we are pretty sure we won't have power until the weekend. :(
This has been a reminder of what is important in life and that is not the food in the fridge or freezer and it is not watching TV. The important thing is that my family is safe and we have blessed to have Mom and Dad's house to go to so we can be more comfortable! It has been so kind of them to put up with a house full of kids and help us out. It works out well since I have so many appointments this week and Mom has been able to help me get the kids from camp or keep them for me when I need to be away.
I had my MUGA scan to check my heart and make sure it is strong enough to have the Herceptin as well as check if the chemo damaged my heart. This is one scan I do not enjoy because it lasts 2 hours and it entails an IV so that I can have an injections and blood drawn. The strangest part is that they draw my blood and then put in nuclear material to help see the blood go through my heart. The imaging takes quite a long time and you are strapped to the table to give your arms support since there is really no space to put them. At the end, the radiologist let me know that all looks good and that the last time I had this scan before chemo my results were 55 and this time they were 56. I do not know what this number means but he said it was good so I can continue on this journey.
Tomorrow is another awesome day!!!! MY DRAINS ARE COMING OUT!!!! MY DRAINS ARE COMING OUT!!!! MY DRAINS ARE COMING OUT!!! Do I seem excited? Have I become so sick of these things hanging from my sides? Yes and Yes! This will help make me feel more normal and recover even better!
I look forward to the update tomorrow!
This has been a reminder of what is important in life and that is not the food in the fridge or freezer and it is not watching TV. The important thing is that my family is safe and we have blessed to have Mom and Dad's house to go to so we can be more comfortable! It has been so kind of them to put up with a house full of kids and help us out. It works out well since I have so many appointments this week and Mom has been able to help me get the kids from camp or keep them for me when I need to be away.
I had my MUGA scan to check my heart and make sure it is strong enough to have the Herceptin as well as check if the chemo damaged my heart. This is one scan I do not enjoy because it lasts 2 hours and it entails an IV so that I can have an injections and blood drawn. The strangest part is that they draw my blood and then put in nuclear material to help see the blood go through my heart. The imaging takes quite a long time and you are strapped to the table to give your arms support since there is really no space to put them. At the end, the radiologist let me know that all looks good and that the last time I had this scan before chemo my results were 55 and this time they were 56. I do not know what this number means but he said it was good so I can continue on this journey.
Tomorrow is another awesome day!!!! MY DRAINS ARE COMING OUT!!!! MY DRAINS ARE COMING OUT!!!! MY DRAINS ARE COMING OUT!!! Do I seem excited? Have I become so sick of these things hanging from my sides? Yes and Yes! This will help make me feel more normal and recover even better!
I look forward to the update tomorrow!
Sunday, July 10, 2011
It is the end of an up and down weekend... oh there's that roller coaster again!
I have been dealing with this pain coming from my right drain but it comes and goes now. I have been waiting for these drains to produce only 30 cc so I can have them removed finally and we may have gotten to this point!!! I will be calling Dr. Lu the minute I know this is true because I want them GONE!!! When they are taken out I will feel so much more human and be able to be comfortable in my new body.
The news from my doctor's appointment on Friday was a lot to deal with! I am still trying to process it all and know what it means. I have cried quite a bit because I wanted to be able to scream to the world that I was cancer free!!! Instead I am facing the fact that I will have it a part of my life.
I was blessed to have a baptism celebration to go to on Saturday with my family. This was a great distraction for me and I was so lucky to have some of the best medicine-- loving baby Levi and even feeding him once. Babies really are the sweetest medicine for me because they are pure unconditional love! We also were able to join the family today at the baptism in Milburn, IL. It was a fabulous service with a beautiful baptism and only the adults had tears of joy because Levi was not phased by the whole thing.
Lunch was spent with my cousin, Amy who is a missionary down in Guatemala, my aunt, cousin Brian, Brad, Mom and Dad, and us. It is always so wonderful to spend time with Amy! She is such a blessing in my life and we loved catching up and seeing each other as we have both been concerned about each other. Her safety is always of great concern and she has not seen me since I was first diagnosed. I am also re-energized every time I am able to be with the family for whatever type of get together we have.
Thank you to everyone for all your love and support!
I have been dealing with this pain coming from my right drain but it comes and goes now. I have been waiting for these drains to produce only 30 cc so I can have them removed finally and we may have gotten to this point!!! I will be calling Dr. Lu the minute I know this is true because I want them GONE!!! When they are taken out I will feel so much more human and be able to be comfortable in my new body.
The news from my doctor's appointment on Friday was a lot to deal with! I am still trying to process it all and know what it means. I have cried quite a bit because I wanted to be able to scream to the world that I was cancer free!!! Instead I am facing the fact that I will have it a part of my life.
I was blessed to have a baptism celebration to go to on Saturday with my family. This was a great distraction for me and I was so lucky to have some of the best medicine-- loving baby Levi and even feeding him once. Babies really are the sweetest medicine for me because they are pure unconditional love! We also were able to join the family today at the baptism in Milburn, IL. It was a fabulous service with a beautiful baptism and only the adults had tears of joy because Levi was not phased by the whole thing.
Lunch was spent with my cousin, Amy who is a missionary down in Guatemala, my aunt, cousin Brian, Brad, Mom and Dad, and us. It is always so wonderful to spend time with Amy! She is such a blessing in my life and we loved catching up and seeing each other as we have both been concerned about each other. Her safety is always of great concern and she has not seen me since I was first diagnosed. I am also re-energized every time I am able to be with the family for whatever type of get together we have.
Thank you to everyone for all your love and support!
Friday, July 8, 2011
The Roller coaster got very bumpy today!
It all started after I got out of the shower this morning. I was trying to get dressed and ready for the doctor's appointment when all of a sudden I began to feel stabbing pain coming from the right drain where it enters my body. On the pain scale it was a 10+ and I could not even explain where the pain was coming from I just started to scream!! Keith tried to gently help figure out what was going on but any movement was horrible. He finally was able to put on Neosporin with pain reliever and loosen up a possible clot in the tubing... either one may have been the problem because I did get some relief. He called the surgeon's office and left a message for his assistant to let us know what we needed to do. At this point we were late to drop the kids off at mom and dad's which meant we were going to be late for our appointment so we left for all of these activities. We made great time and were able to make it to the office only a couple minutes behind schedule.
Once in the room I became very nervous. Lauren took all my vitals so I had the comfort of a friendly conversation and she even made sure I had the kleenex box near me. Then Dr. Chung came in and started to explain everything... she told us about the pathology findings and about the Tumor talk that my cells were looked at yesterday. She explained the numbers that they look at in order to decide about the Her2Neu positive or negative. We talked about how the numbers from my biopsy leaned much more towards the negative ratio but that the different tissue samples from the tumor were close to the positive ratio but still not in the absolute ratio. The whole panel of specialists were in agreement that I should have the Herceptin for the full year to ensure that we rid my chances of allowing those cells to invade any other part of my body. I sum it up as I want to have NO REGRETS so we are going to do anything we have to so we can keep me around for a long time. I am also going to have radiation for 5 or 6 weeks. For this I will go every week day to be radiated for about 10 minutes each day. I will meet with the Head Oncology Radiologist next week to set this up and then I will get started as soon as these "lovely" drains come out of my body.
This appointment was so full of information I thought my head was spinning when we ended. I had to have blood drawn which was not fun because my veins are terrible.... I cannot believe I am saying this... I MISS MY PORT!!! It does look like I will have to go back and have a new port put in. I was so disappointed in myself that I had the other removed but then the nurses reminded me that the week before surgery my port was inflamed and they probably would not have wanted to use it again since there was obviously something wrong with it. I would have had to replace it anyway. That is on my list for next week to call and get into Dr. Ganshirt.
I am getting through this day because I have such wonderful friends and family who have sent supportive messages and prayers my way. BUT I could not have done it without Keith. I have been so blessed with my true soul mate who is the best caregiver! He asked great questions to help put my mind at ease and he held me up when I wanted to crumble. I love him so much and cannot imagine life without him! God truly blessed me and Keith keeps reminding me that I am not allowed to leave him alone with our three darlings. :)
It all started after I got out of the shower this morning. I was trying to get dressed and ready for the doctor's appointment when all of a sudden I began to feel stabbing pain coming from the right drain where it enters my body. On the pain scale it was a 10+ and I could not even explain where the pain was coming from I just started to scream!! Keith tried to gently help figure out what was going on but any movement was horrible. He finally was able to put on Neosporin with pain reliever and loosen up a possible clot in the tubing... either one may have been the problem because I did get some relief. He called the surgeon's office and left a message for his assistant to let us know what we needed to do. At this point we were late to drop the kids off at mom and dad's which meant we were going to be late for our appointment so we left for all of these activities. We made great time and were able to make it to the office only a couple minutes behind schedule.
Once in the room I became very nervous. Lauren took all my vitals so I had the comfort of a friendly conversation and she even made sure I had the kleenex box near me. Then Dr. Chung came in and started to explain everything... she told us about the pathology findings and about the Tumor talk that my cells were looked at yesterday. She explained the numbers that they look at in order to decide about the Her2Neu positive or negative. We talked about how the numbers from my biopsy leaned much more towards the negative ratio but that the different tissue samples from the tumor were close to the positive ratio but still not in the absolute ratio. The whole panel of specialists were in agreement that I should have the Herceptin for the full year to ensure that we rid my chances of allowing those cells to invade any other part of my body. I sum it up as I want to have NO REGRETS so we are going to do anything we have to so we can keep me around for a long time. I am also going to have radiation for 5 or 6 weeks. For this I will go every week day to be radiated for about 10 minutes each day. I will meet with the Head Oncology Radiologist next week to set this up and then I will get started as soon as these "lovely" drains come out of my body.
This appointment was so full of information I thought my head was spinning when we ended. I had to have blood drawn which was not fun because my veins are terrible.... I cannot believe I am saying this... I MISS MY PORT!!! It does look like I will have to go back and have a new port put in. I was so disappointed in myself that I had the other removed but then the nurses reminded me that the week before surgery my port was inflamed and they probably would not have wanted to use it again since there was obviously something wrong with it. I would have had to replace it anyway. That is on my list for next week to call and get into Dr. Ganshirt.
I am getting through this day because I have such wonderful friends and family who have sent supportive messages and prayers my way. BUT I could not have done it without Keith. I have been so blessed with my true soul mate who is the best caregiver! He asked great questions to help put my mind at ease and he held me up when I wanted to crumble. I love him so much and cannot imagine life without him! God truly blessed me and Keith keeps reminding me that I am not allowed to leave him alone with our three darlings. :)
Just a quick note... more will come when I have had time to process.
We are just home from the oncologists office and found out that the whole panel of specialists agreed that I should take Herceptin for the next year. I will go every three weeks to have this drug put in me to help prolong my life and the likelihood I will kick this cancers butt!
I will also be going through 5 or 6 weeks of radiation starting as soon as my drains are gone... which cannot happen soon enough.
...OK I cannot think or type anymore. I will fill you in more soon!
We are just home from the oncologists office and found out that the whole panel of specialists agreed that I should take Herceptin for the next year. I will go every three weeks to have this drug put in me to help prolong my life and the likelihood I will kick this cancers butt!
I will also be going through 5 or 6 weeks of radiation starting as soon as my drains are gone... which cannot happen soon enough.
...OK I cannot think or type anymore. I will fill you in more soon!
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
Behind on my Thank yous!
I am behind on my Thank yous and I really won't be able to express all my thanks! But I will try!
After surgery:
I have received many cards and gifts from family and friends! These little rays of support and hope and well wishes have been the things that have gotten me through all these tough days of waiting. These notes of encouragement have been wonderful surprises. The girls especially love to get the mail and count how many cards mommy gets each day.... then they complain they are not getting any mail.
The girls mom's away from home, Kim and Wendi, have helped more than I can ever tell you! They are such angels and have created such a safe environment for the girls throughout these past months when I have not been able to be with them. We are now finding time for me to able to get together with them all and have family days together. We last had a fun afternoon of talking, eating and enjoying each others company at Wendi's house.
Thank you to all who have helped us in so many ways! You are all a part of our family and we love you all! Support and love are the things I take away from all of these experiences!
Reflecting back on my surgery:
My hospital room was filled with some of the most beautiful flowers I have ever received! Everyone who walked in the door commented on how wonderful it smelled in my room because of the flowers. I was blessed to receive my first vase of pink roses soon after I left recovery and got to my room on that first night from my in-laws. The next day I received a beautiful vase from Keith's Aunt and Uncle which was a nice surprise. Then I received two more gorgeous bouquets from Buss florist which we sent from Oak Grove school and from my Kindergarten team. These were unique arrangements that were full of bright colors and wonderful flowers!!
Along with the flowers, I was also surprised to have so many visitors and phone calls! The girls and mom came over to visit and they brought me roses from Papa's roses. It was so fun to see them and they all had many questions about all the medical things and about how mommy looked and felt. We answered them as best we could without scaring them! Seeing my girls was some of the best medicine.
I was also so blessed to have my dear friend, Katie come in just to be with me throughout this surgery. To top that her mom Fran blessed me with a prayer before surgery to help me find peace and ask for blessing for all involved. These women sat with Keith and my mom all through my surgery which was so amazing to me! I loved seeing them when I got to my room and then they came back the next day. Katie is such an amazing friend and I am so blessed she is in my life!
I was also blessed to be visited by Cinde and Pat, Aunt Candy and Uncle Terry, Lauren (from my oncology office) and her husband Josh, my dad, and of course, Keith. Everyone gave me a chance to forget about the pain and enjoy sharing the success of the surgery. I was so lucky to have Keith with me most of the time. There was no good place for him to sleep in the room so I sent him home each night to get sleep and get ready for his camping trip which I hoped helped him. I luckily had great nurses and CNAs so it was OK to be alone at night.
I was well taken care of by all my doctors. Dr. Chung came to see me the day after surgery while she was on her rounds. She did not have to come but she said she would not have missed the chance to come check on me and see if there was any notes she could read to get an idea of how it all went. Dr. Ganshirt checked in each day and we discussed how happy he was that there were no surprises when he went in. Dr. Lu was also there each day and he even helped me see how an extra day in the hospital would help me recover better, plus I had a slight fever still that they were concerned about so he wanted to keep an eye on me until that Sunday. He made sure I had everything I needed to go home and that I knew all I needed to know about how to recover at home. He really helped to put me at ease.
I learned so much from all these people and experiences and I have so much more to learn! I am finding my positive attitude again and trying to be patient as we wait on the information that will help us make all the decisions for the future. There has to be a good reason this information is taking longer. I hope to be able to reflect on this later to see why all this time was a good thing!
After surgery:
I have received many cards and gifts from family and friends! These little rays of support and hope and well wishes have been the things that have gotten me through all these tough days of waiting. These notes of encouragement have been wonderful surprises. The girls especially love to get the mail and count how many cards mommy gets each day.... then they complain they are not getting any mail.
The girls mom's away from home, Kim and Wendi, have helped more than I can ever tell you! They are such angels and have created such a safe environment for the girls throughout these past months when I have not been able to be with them. We are now finding time for me to able to get together with them all and have family days together. We last had a fun afternoon of talking, eating and enjoying each others company at Wendi's house.
Thank you to all who have helped us in so many ways! You are all a part of our family and we love you all! Support and love are the things I take away from all of these experiences!
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
Summer has begun...for me!
I am hoping everyone had a wonderful 4th of July weekend!! The Klunders were blessed with dear friends who encouraged us and helped us celebrate this weekend!
I truly could have crawled into bed on Friday and not gotten out of bed the rest of the weekend. This uncertainty of my diagnosis has really thrown me for a loop! I struggled to find that positive attitude since the first Wednesday appointment that was canceled. I keep saying, "I wanted it all to be over!!!" I had an expectation of this cancer being gone once I checked off all the things I was advised to do from the beginning. The control was taken away from me when this pathology issue came up. I did find it funny to think of God chuckling when I realized that I was trying to control this whole situation still and found I was not even in the drivers seat. I have given all my worries up to God and am feeling more peace than I have all weekend. This is so much bigger than I can handle and He will take it for me.
I am again enjoying a more typical summer day today. I woke up and got myself ready without any help. Keith got the girls ready for the first day of dance camp. I took them off to the dance studio for a camp that lasts for 3 hours. I will pick them up soon to go and feed them lunch... they will be starving I am sure since they have not worked as hard in weeks. Then Katelynn has her first tutoring session this afternoon and by 5 pm I should be home. I am sure I will be absolutely exhausted but I am so happy to have a more "normal" day!!! It is so great to be a summer stay at home mom.
I truly could have crawled into bed on Friday and not gotten out of bed the rest of the weekend. This uncertainty of my diagnosis has really thrown me for a loop! I struggled to find that positive attitude since the first Wednesday appointment that was canceled. I keep saying, "I wanted it all to be over!!!" I had an expectation of this cancer being gone once I checked off all the things I was advised to do from the beginning. The control was taken away from me when this pathology issue came up. I did find it funny to think of God chuckling when I realized that I was trying to control this whole situation still and found I was not even in the drivers seat. I have given all my worries up to God and am feeling more peace than I have all weekend. This is so much bigger than I can handle and He will take it for me.
I am again enjoying a more typical summer day today. I woke up and got myself ready without any help. Keith got the girls ready for the first day of dance camp. I took them off to the dance studio for a camp that lasts for 3 hours. I will pick them up soon to go and feed them lunch... they will be starving I am sure since they have not worked as hard in weeks. Then Katelynn has her first tutoring session this afternoon and by 5 pm I should be home. I am sure I will be absolutely exhausted but I am so happy to have a more "normal" day!!! It is so great to be a summer stay at home mom.
Friday, July 1, 2011
Punch in the stomach
Dear God,
Please give me the strength to deal with all the news that has been given to me. Give the team of doctors the knowledge to make the right decision in how to move forward. Give the pathologists the ability to find out the answer to the testing that is causing such confusion. And please God help me to keep a positive outlook on any answer that comes my way. Thank you for all the days I have been blessed to live and please help me to have many more.
Amen
I am just now processing all that I learned from my Oncologist an hour ago on the phone. Dr. Chung called me while we were on our way home from a family breakfast with my mom. As I heard all the information she had to tell me I stayed up beat and tried to remember everything she was telling me. It is just as I had thought: we are waiting on the pathologists to complete another test to figure out if I am Herceptin positive. The previous tests they have run have come up mainly negative with a slight chance of part of the tumor being positive. They are wanting a definitive answer and the cells are not cooperating. Those results should be in by Thursday of next week which is also the day of the Breast Cancer conference the doctors have where they bring up current patients. My cells will be up on a big screen to be looked at and discussed. Dr. Chung let me know that even in that group she knows they will not all agree on everything but that will allow us to have options and ideas to discuss.
So here is what it means for me: If i am Herceptin positive there is a drug that I would have to be given every three weeks for a year. It would be like going through chemo again but without the side effects of chemo. The only real concern that comes from taking this drug is that it could cause weakening of the heart (cardio toxicity). I would have to have the strange heart test I had before chemo four times throughout the year to ensure this was not happening to me-- FUN!!
I wanted to be able to celebrate that this battle was over and we could all feel so good that we won this battle together....... BUT that is not the case right now. I guess this is one of those wars that must go on a little longer to have a better outcome. I do not look forward to the idea of having another year of putting drugs into my body BUT there is no question I want to live for A LONG TIME!!! I still have so much I want to do in this world so I am willing to do what it takes!!!!!
Please give me the strength to deal with all the news that has been given to me. Give the team of doctors the knowledge to make the right decision in how to move forward. Give the pathologists the ability to find out the answer to the testing that is causing such confusion. And please God help me to keep a positive outlook on any answer that comes my way. Thank you for all the days I have been blessed to live and please help me to have many more.
Amen
I am just now processing all that I learned from my Oncologist an hour ago on the phone. Dr. Chung called me while we were on our way home from a family breakfast with my mom. As I heard all the information she had to tell me I stayed up beat and tried to remember everything she was telling me. It is just as I had thought: we are waiting on the pathologists to complete another test to figure out if I am Herceptin positive. The previous tests they have run have come up mainly negative with a slight chance of part of the tumor being positive. They are wanting a definitive answer and the cells are not cooperating. Those results should be in by Thursday of next week which is also the day of the Breast Cancer conference the doctors have where they bring up current patients. My cells will be up on a big screen to be looked at and discussed. Dr. Chung let me know that even in that group she knows they will not all agree on everything but that will allow us to have options and ideas to discuss.
So here is what it means for me: If i am Herceptin positive there is a drug that I would have to be given every three weeks for a year. It would be like going through chemo again but without the side effects of chemo. The only real concern that comes from taking this drug is that it could cause weakening of the heart (cardio toxicity). I would have to have the strange heart test I had before chemo four times throughout the year to ensure this was not happening to me-- FUN!!
I wanted to be able to celebrate that this battle was over and we could all feel so good that we won this battle together....... BUT that is not the case right now. I guess this is one of those wars that must go on a little longer to have a better outcome. I do not look forward to the idea of having another year of putting drugs into my body BUT there is no question I want to live for A LONG TIME!!! I still have so much I want to do in this world so I am willing to do what it takes!!!!!
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