God shown Himself to me again today when He helped me realize all of this is His doing!  The light bulb in my head went off today brighter than ever and I have such a warmth in my heart still as answers have come to me...  I am a person who needs others to get through my life journey.  I feel the best when I am a care giver to all I meet.  This is why I was meant to be a teacher, a mother, a wife, a friend and this is why I want to make this experience bigger than myself by way of helping others on their journey have it a little easier than even I did. 

I am going to see a former student of mine tomorrow to say good-bye and good luck at college as she ventures out to MSU for her Freshman year.  I am so very excited to be able to see her before she goes and wish her well.  This connection could have easily ended after I taught her but it never did.  We would talk in the halls when I saw her and then as she got older I would be able to go to her mother's store to see her when she worked.  I missed a few years when I had the twins and was in over my head at home but then we caught up soon after.  Lauren is one of many students I am still in contact with who have gone on in their life's journey and I am proud of each and every one of them!!  I actually know that one of my very first 7th grade students has just recently gotten married.  I cried when I saw her pics on Facebook because she and her girlfriend Linsdey were the two students I invited to my wedding the year after I taught them. 

I realize that I am given so much more than I am even able to give to my students.  This past year they picked me up with their carefree way of living and kept me going when I probably should have been down for the count.  I truly do welcome each of my students into my family when they spend a year with me and it is so beautiful when the connections lasts throughout all the years!

I have been so exhilarated to be able to help others on this cancer journey.  I realize that there are some who do not want to talk about it and I respect them but it is wonderful to know that others have been encouraged by me.  Today in the chemo room was another prime example.  I sat in my normal chair and my friend, Wendi who normally keeps the girls for me was able to take me today (Keith went fishing with her husband and their boys while my mom kept the girls for me.).  There was a lady next to us who was quiet at first and I hoped we would not annoy her since I knew we would talk through the time.  As all the nurses came by and chatted it up with us one thing caught this woman's attention.... so she opened up and began to ask me about radiation.  She was going to begin it in 6 to 9 weeks and wondered what it was all about.  I was able to reassure her that it was quick most days and that the Grayslake building was the place to go!  From then on we had fun little conversations about family and this journey.  She fell asleep for some of it (good old Benadryl) but it was great when we could talk. 
Wendi, Katie, Keith and my mom are the only other people who have witnessed the overwhelming reception I get when I walk in that oncology office...  It starts at the front desk where the ladies know me and just hand me what I need and send me on my way.  Then through the first door, I run into the Nurse Practitioner, Jennifer who today loved my hair and had to feel how soft it was and give me a huge hug!!  After that in the chemo room I am greeted by one of my favorite nurses, Maria- who finds my veins even when they hide far far away.  Each nurse that comes by says Hi and chats briefly.  Finally in the exam room Dr. Chung comes in after I have had vitals done my friend, Lauren and chatted with her quickly.  Today was a great appointment because we went over med changes I have to make in order to begin the Tamoxafin (5 years of pills).  We also talked about my reaction to the first Herceptin which was a lingering headache and some dizziness.  She also made sure to check in on the family and how I was truly feeling and how radiation was going. 

The Herceptin treatment was not bad.  I did not get Benadryl so that was good!  I became tired but it comes more from the drag of sitting there while this fluid goes into your veins.  It was great to have Wendi to talk with throughout the whole time.  Plus I love to show others that having cancer is not as scary as it sounds.  After the drug was in me, we left to go to radiation.  That office is just as awesome!! With traffic we got there right as they were in lunch but my two favorite Radiation Therapists were there and they came right out to do my treatment.  Since I had Wendi with me they invited her into the radiation room to see how it all works as they set me up... Keith is jealous since he has never seen this yet.  :)  The treatment was done in 10 minutes and I changed and we were out of there.

When I got home I realized how tired I was so I finally listened to my body and stayed home while Keith and the twins went to the beach with Wendi's family and many other friends.... where was Katelynn??  Oh she decided to be defiant and scream at me so she lost her chance to go!!!  Boy if this is happening now, what will the teenage years look like???  SCARY!!

I am feeling much better and really have no side effects this time at all!  Life is looking good!

God has blessed me with all the people I love and who love me!  Smiles and love are my most powerful tools in life!