WOW! Yesterday was a terrible day for me! I really cannot believe how low I could get. The pain was horrific and my emotions were all messed up. I am so thankful that this is a new day!!
I cannot thank all of you who helped me through yesterday enough!!! The messages of encouragement and the phone calls to remind me that it is OK to have a bad day and to allow myself to feel whatever it is I need to feel were some of the best medicine. My mom was also the biggest help when we sat on the couch crying together and sharing our feelings. She made me realize I was not the only one who was scared or emotional when she shared how she could not lose me and how proud she was of all I had done to get rid of this cancer. It validated how hard I had worked and that I was not alone in being scared during this journey. My mom is always so strong and to have her break down with me was powerful. She also helped me physically find some comfort when she had the idea to rub Ben-gay on my back to try and help my muscles relax in order to sleep. This really did help last night! I also found a slightly new position that gave some of my muscles a chance to be comfortable. I slept all the way through the night until 8:45AM. YEAH!!!
I am taking it easy today and staying on top of my pain with the meds. This will hopefully help me to be strong enough to make the doctor visit tomorrow a good one. Getting into a car is frightening because the ride from the hospital was painful... any bump or swerve or turn was uncomfortable even with the use of a pillow against my chest. But it must be done to get some of these drains removed and find out how we proceed from here.
The future is what I look forward to and pray is increasingly better as it comes!!!
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