Reality hit again!  After months of everyone first shielding me from negativity to putting up my own boundaries against the evils of life, I was faced with an enormous amount of negativity tonight.  It was probably the most tense situation I have faced since the cancer diagnosis. 

I am a teacher.  I never wanted to work in the business world nor have I ever thought that I would be a millionaire by following this life long dream!  These times in this country are ugly for anyone trying to do the right thing in my profession.  I was faced with being watched by armed police officers at my place of work.  I am so disheartened tonight as I try to get the awful images out of my mind!  As a breathing human being who has spent 14 years of my life caring for other peoples children and spending more time with them than even their parents do on a daily basis, I would never in my wildest nightmares thought I would be enduring this environment.  I am thankful that my colleagues are as strong and loving as they are!  They have been so hard working to try and resolve this issue of our contract.  I am struggling because it slapped me square in the face when I let down my safety net and went to support my position.  I personally have to guard against this again in order to make sure that I stay healthy and keep healing.  I know that this will also be resolved in the future and I have to keep myself positive even in the face of all of these tense moments.

As far as our insurance change issue, I have been finding more and more info about this new insurance to the point that I realize all will work out.  I am just trying to make sure we go the least stressful route for all of it. 

I have my 6 week follow-up with my Radiology-Oncologist tomorrow.  I am looking forward to seeing all the people who I saw each day for those 25 treatments.  I am also hoping that all is OK with me since I do not have any residual problems from the radiation. 

I also have a MUGA scan again next Monday morning.  If you remember this is the heart monitoring test that I truly detest!  It is the one in which they take my blood and put in radioactive "stuff" to the blood and then put it back into me.  Then they monitor me on this interesting looking machine that I am strapped down to while it monitors.  I am praying that this test shows my heart is withstanding these treatments so that we can keep from getting cancer again. 

Love is amazing and it is the one thing that has allowed me to get the negative memories of tonight's board meeting go away.  The minute I picked up my girls from mom and dads I hugged them and remembered why I am going through this all!  I want to give them the life they deserve and that is why I will keep going on this path to get to the end result.