I have been on such a roller coaster this past week!  I went from excruciating pain and sleeplessness to being so happy and having energy!  I am so thankful for the ability to come back from thesetreatments in a way that allows me to continue as normal a routine as I have energy for!

Friday was another fantastic day!  I was at work and able to accomplish even more than I had hoped to do which will make the upcoming weeks even better for me.  It is "testing season" for me and that is usually the most stressful time because there is usually more to do than time in a day.  I am feeling so good because I would not want to leave anything undone at work.  I have come all this way and I am determined to see the school year to as close to the end as possible!  I am in awe of thinking back to November when I met with my administrators discussing possible ways we would deal with my neededabsences .  We had many plans to ensure any issues would be dealt with and I was almost positive I would have to take off a good deal of the year... we are now in April and I have done more than I would have ever imagined! 

There have truly been many miracles to allow this to happen!

I think about how few sick days I had banked for the year and I have not run out of them yet!  I have been able to work almost the entire school year without any major times off.  The longest absence I had was during the week of diagnosiswhich is amazing!

Money was another major concern when it all began!!!  I thought I was going to have to stop working which woiuld have financially hurt us and then I knew the medical bills were going to begin to pile up.  I can proudly say today that we have done 110% better than I could have ever imagined!  No bill has gone unpaid and I am still bringing in a full paycheck!  One more concern is wiped away!

Food was another miracle!  The amount of friends and family who have fed us over these past months has been such a blessing!  The outpouring of help has at times filled out fridge and freezer so full we were not sure we would eat everything!  It has been the best for me because of all my mouth issues I have not been up to even making food and this help has allowed me to still make a meal for the girls and Keith without stressing too much about what to make!  i have also found new things that the girls will eat so when all is back to "normal" I will add to my meal routine!

One personal miracle is the change in my outlook on things!  I have learned (or hit over the head)  to ask for help and allow others to do for me as I would do for them if needed!  Before this I truly only knew how to do for others to make their life easier and I truly loved doing it!  BUT I did not ever know how to ask for help for ME!  I was always afraid to burden people with my needs and now I realize that if they cannot do something they will let me know and if they love us they really do want to help!  I know this sounds like something I should have known but I really am/ was such a people pleaser I could not see this other way to think.

Another HUGE personal miracle is that I have learned to see what is TRULY IMPORTANT in life!  I used to get so upset over even the smallest conflict or over things I could not change.  As I have said to many... I have faced my mortality and am living such a positve life.  I plan to enjoy all I can which allows me to see what things I am willing to fight for and what needs to just set aside.  This really comes into play when negative things come my way and I have to decide whether the amount of energy to fight it is worth it. 

My medical team is a miracle to me!  There are so many things that happened to me when all of this began and I really had no choice in the matter.  BUT each decision I did not make was made for me by people I trusted!  I have come to find out that there are many medicalpersonnel who have come to know who ask about me or fight over who will get to work with me.  Being such a people person and finding strength from personal contact with loved ones, it has been imperative that my medical team care for me and have a nurturing bed-side manner.  I have been blessed to have all of this in all of them!  My surgeon who ended up having to be the one to tell Keith and I my official diagnosis is a kind man who is also a well respected surgeon at Lake Forest.  My Nurse Navigator at Lake Forest, Jennifer has been a rock for Keith and I!  She helped us get to all ourinitial appointments at the hospital and was so encouraged when we learned who my oncologist would be.  We have not seen her in such a long time but I found out from Dr. Chung that Jennifer asked about us this week at Tumor Talks.  Then there is my whole oncologists office!  I have nurses whoargued over who would do my chemo teach last time and the nurses in the "back" where chemo happens have all become part of our family!!  As I type this I am tearing up because the reality of not seeing these ladies each week has hit me and I am really going to miss them!  I will be glad that I can still go visit and will not have to be filled with toxins to see them!  :)  I have talked about Lauren who is my nurse tech who takes my vitals and has become such a huge part of my medical family!  I am so excited for her because she is also going to school to get her Early Education Degree.  We have found a connection that I am sure will allowus to keep in contact for a long time!  Jennifer, the Nurse practitioner  and I have a connection because we are both moms of  an older daughter and then surprise twins (hers are boys).   There was an instant connection when we first met and it has seemed to get stronger with each story we share.  Finally, Dr. Chung who has been such a thorough physician who has been the kind of doctor Keith and I both needed throughout each step of this process!  She responds to our needs because she knows we do not ask unless it is necessary.  She takes care of my medical needs and makes sure I am doing well as a person!  She is an amazing person who cares about her patients!  She allows time for me to share with her some personal achievements each time we meet and she cheers me on. 

I have cancer but it does not have me!  I have lived life as I wanted to even with these vicious cells have invaded my body.  No matter the outcome I have won!!!