So many things have brought me to a major decision for me... I have asked for a leave for the end of the school year starting the week after my last treatment.  I have given in to the fact that these toxins are harder and harder to come back from with each treatment.  I am still in so much pain today but am so blessed to be at home recovering for an extra day.  This body is weakening at a fast rate which is so unusual for all the previous chemos I have endured.  This want-to-be "superwoman" has had to face reality and let everyone know I cannot do it all anymore.  That was one of the hardest things I had to make myself admit but it really does feel like the right decision for me.  I am being selfish and choosing to take care of me... although as most of you know I will not leave things undone so I am planning my leave to occur once all the kids are placed at school and I have dotted all the "i"s and crossed the "t"s that I am able to do.  I cannot give up my need to make sure all are taken care of but if I did I would not be me.

I had no idea that pain could move through every ounce of a body.  I feel pain in all muscles, bones, and joints.  There is really no relief except to meditate and keep moving at a slow pace.  Going back to work tomorrow will be a challenge in some ways but the movement will probably do me good as well as the chance to ignore some of the pain.  I look forward to seeing all those smiling faces of my students and use my math brain to challenge them!

As I look at the picture from Easter of my little ladies I know I am just about the luckiest person in the world!  They are such a strong group of girls and I have seen them grow in such good ways.  They are so willing to help and have compassion for those in need.